Essay: Round us a roundabout

Essay: Round us a roundabout

by -
0

About the roundabout: I trust the Martha’s Vineyard-Oak Bluffs Roundabout Commission (MV-OBRAC) will confirm Art Buchwald’s grant to me of the Comfort Station concession at the Roundabout.

Of course, I will honor Art’s wish that the Comfort Station will be free and open to all alike, if they have made a purchase of $10 or more at the traffic circle.

Those wishing to avoid the Comfort Station free of charge are welcome to avail themselves of the (MVOBRACCXXT), the Oak Bluffs Roundabout Catty Corner Double Cross Tunnel, which is the underpassleading indirectly to all five Island towns via Menemsha, without benefit of clergy.

This will save the $10 fee for using the Comfort Station, though travellers will suffer a certain discomfort.

It was to avoid this discomfort, that Art gave me the concession for the Comfort Station at the Roundabout.

I’m asking the Martha’s Vineyard-Oak Bluffs Roundabout Commission (MV-OBRAC) to confirm thisgrant.

Whence came this Roundabout concession, you may wonder.

I’d been reading Art for years and years, back in the Paris Trib, when he exclaimed to the waiter, “Garkon, garkon, my cafe filtre won’t filter!”

The NY Times became sole owner of the Trib, and Arthur’s column disappeared. Somehow, I got hold of Arthur’s e-mail address, and I wrote him asking what had happened. Back came Arthur’s reply:

“After so many years, the bastards knocked me off myflagship page, those rotten S&$!*O$^#%Bs! Take that, Arthur Sulzberger!”

I have that e-mail of Arthur’s posted on my bulletin board exactly as he sent it, expletives included, and it will stay there forever, or as long as l do.

Art and I exchanged e-mails once in a while.Which brings us to the Nantucket Windmills, and the Oak Bluffs Roundabout. I gave Arthur the right to put a Windmill IMBY (In My Back Yard).

Art countered with the right for the Comfort Station at the Roundabout. It was a straight player trade; no cash involved.

That’s how I got the Comfort Station concession, and I trust Arthur will exercise his windmill right, once our prayers move it though heaven’s zoning board of appeals.

Though I wish Art had granted me the right for the Comfort Station at Five Corners.

Peter Ochs, long retired from NBC, is a veteran Gay Head hand, from before Gay Head became Aquinnah. He’s still on Gay Head time. Mr. Ochs owned a summer house on Lighthouse Road for years, but sold it a few years ago and now rents for several months annually, near where he formerly owned. The rest of the year, he lives in Vienna.