How we sank the debt limit in the deep blue sea

How we sank the debt limit in the deep blue sea

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To the Editor:

This is Thursday, so maybe the debt crisis has been solved. Hold your breath.

The debt limit is like Vineyard weather. Everyone talks about it, but no one does anything about it. But since all Vineyarders are worried about the debt limit issue, not wanting to leave it to our grandchildren, I’ve come up with a solution.

The Reid plan, the Boehner plan, the Other-Fellow’s-Fault plan. None of them could work. But my Full Court Press plan can.

Roll the presses. Print the money. That’s the plan. The Bureau of Engraving is busy churning out 50s, 100s, 5s and 10s. There’s no reason it can’t up the ante.

I’m sure the mint has not destroyed the plates for the Salmons and the Wilsons. Ten thousand dollars each for Salmon P. Chase, $100,000 on each Woodrow Wilson. Legal tender for all debts, public and private. Let those presses roll.

A packet of $100,000 Wilsons, just one-half inch high, comes to $10 million. The arithmetic here is a little tricky, so pay attention. Fifty inches high, comes to $1 billion. A trillion’s more, but it’s still a only a couple of cubic feet, of $100,000 bills. Fits into a couple of briefcases, or a suitcase. Maybe a big basket.

A trillion, a trasket, Tim Geithner’s got a basket, he hauls it in a U-Haul, though Congress blows a gasket.

Maybe Mr. Obama can jump-start his vacation and fly up to the Island on one of those fat-cat corporate jets, a leftover from the deadly debt negotiations, with a basket of big bills. He could deposit the cash in the Chilmark branch of the Martha’s Vineyard Savings Bank. Chilmarkers always like a little extra do-re-me. They don’t have it all yet.

Checks drawn on the new Debt-Deduct account will be used to pay off our overdue and overdrawn charge cards, solving the grandchildren problem. And, we avoid Chapter 11 bankruptcy and don’t lose our MV Times triple AAA rating. It’s the Full Court Press Plan, aka No Fault Default.

Peter Ochs

Aquinnah and Vienna