As very few of you know, my primary occupation is as a freelance editor, and the most recent project to come across my desk is the annual Town Report. Full disclosure: I don’t think I’ve ever opened the Town Report, let alone read it cover to cover. I always thought it was just a bunch of numbers. Well, was I ever wrong. What a gem.

First of all, some of the department reports are just delightful. Barbara Prada, our Animal Control Officer, shares the highly entertaining story of a four-hour guinea pig rescue mission. And then there are some of the titles. Did you know we have a town Moth Warden? Yup, Stuart Fuller is our local moth expert. Some excellent small town stuff, for sure, but then there are the pages devoted to town processes of which I never would have had any idea of the complexities, such as oyster seeding. I highly recommend you read this bible of our town’s inner workings.

Anyone who has seen Derek, a.k.a. Gooch, who tends bar down at the Wharf has noticed the long, flowing locks he has been sporting lately, which are the result of a co-worker’s dare for Gooch to eschew the clippers until May 1. A of couple months ago, I upped the ante by promising a donation to the Boys and Girls Club in Gooch’s name, should he keep sporting the Samson until Memorial Day. Others have followed suit, so that now the excess inches are “for the kids.” If you’d like to donate to Gooch’s Kids (just so we’re clear, this is not an actual organization — purely one of my own invention), open your wallet and throw a little something at the B&GC, and maybe Gooch will let you touch his hair.

Visit the Edgartown Library Wednesday, March 14 at 7 pm, for “Edgartown’s New Library: A Librarian’s Perspective,” a free informational program on building plans for the new library. The public is encouraged to bring questions about the project. The program will be presented from the staff’s perspective on how this new facility will help us to deliver even better service to our community. For more information, call 508-627-4221.

Calling all artists: you are invited to show your work in the “Winter Into Spring” painting show, an open call show curated by Featherstone. The opening reception will be Sunday, March 18, from 4 to 6 pm in the Virginia Weston Besse Gallery. The show continues through Friday, March 30, open each day from 12 to 4 pm. Artists are encouraged to submit new paintings for this show (with a maximum of three paintings per artist). All paintings submitted must be dry and gallery-ready (framed and ready to hang). Drop off your masterpieces Thursday, March 15, between 10 am and 4 pm. If you would like to participate or need further info, give a shout to 508-693-1850.

We missed a couple of birthdays last week. Belated birthday wishes go out to Barbara Rogers and Ethyl Chapman, who both celebrated their day March 4. It might have been a wet day, but it wrapped up with one heck of a sunset.

Richard Prieto will celebrate the annual anniversary of his 33rd birthday on March 10. Also on March 10, local troubadour Mike Benjamin celebrates his day, so Mike, put down that guitar and let someone serenade you for a change. Have a good one, folks.