To the Editor:
With President Obama’s arrival, rumors are flying fast and furious (pun intended). Here are a few:
1. U.S. Congress to be relocated to Snail Road in Chilmark.
2. The Gay Head Lighthouse will be moved to the White House.
3. Larry David will be appointed National Insecurity Advisor.
4. Marine One will be renamed West Marine One in naming rights deal for presidential helicopter.
5. Chilmark Zoning Board denied President Obama’s application to build a summer White House because it doesn’t conform to new zoning regulations for trophy homes.
6. President Obama signed an executive order permitting his dogs, Bo and Sunny, to walk on Chilmark’s town beaches.
7. House Republican immediately filed a lawsuit against President Obama for signing this executive order.
8. House Republicans issue subpoena demanding Bo and Sunny testify in front of Congress.
9. At their congressional testimony, Bo and Sunny bark more, wag less.