Act on facts, not fear

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To the Editor:

I understand the concerns of the letter writer (April 21, “Transgender in the ladies’ room”) who worried about sexual predators who pretend to be transgendered to get into the women’s restroom to prey on women. However, if a predator really wants to pass as a woman — whether homo-, hetero-, trans-, non-binary-, or bisexual — he could dress up well enough to pass, so it’s all pointless.

Anyone can dress up like a man or woman, and if convincing enough, we would have no idea that he or she isn’t that gender. Moreover, if a man enters a women’s bathroom to commit rape, he’d already be violating the law.

I don’t think a woman or a girl is unsafe in a bathroom; after all, she is locked in a stall — the only way someone can get to her if they try to climb over or break the door. Some grew up with unisex bathrooms, and no harm was done.

Also, why do people equate transgender with child molester? Usually the people who molest or abuse a child are the people closest to you whom one would never suspect, like close relatives or even priests. What makes you think a transgender person is more likely to be a peeping Tom? Do you have any facts to back that up to support your assumption? Let’s educate ourselves, making it clear the difference between a predator and a trans individual.

First off, the danger is presented mostly to the trans people themselves, who could be assaulted by ignorant bigots for being in the “wrong” bathroom.

I suggest to protect our kids from predators, try monitoring their Internet usage rather than letting the Internet be their babysitters, because that’s where the predators are.

Also, a young child should not be allowed to enter the bathroom by his- or herself. If a predator wanted to snatch your kid from the bathroom, no sign on the door is going to stop them. Your child is far more likely to be snatched at a mall food court or arcade than a bathroom.

The letter writer is only worried about pedophiles attacking young girls, but not worried about young boys. I believe there are documented cases going pretty far back of young boys being assaulted in the men’s room too. Children are targeted, no matter what.

The only way that you would follow this line of reasoning is if you believe that men are inherently predatory to children. There’s a misandrist narrative being promoted in this argument, that girls are vulnerable to men in dresses, but boys are safer from women in pants. Many people get caught up in the anti-trans law and forget that it’s also pretty messed up with regard to men as well.

Don’t be worried about transgender people, be worried about the perverts. If my old mom needs to go and can’t wait, she will use the men’s room, and even my attractive best friend, a young woman, has never been harassed or accosted, etc. People of both genders are pretty understanding. They may be taken aback at first, but when we run into the stall, no one cares because that’s what the bathroom is for. We don’t really care what bathroom someone or anyone uses. Sometimes urgency overrides social considerations.

Chances are we have already shared restrooms with transgender people. There’s really nothing to report. They wait long lines, do their business, wash their hands, and get out, just like everyone else.

The reason that transgender people use the new assigned-gender bathroom is because they are now the other sex. It took a series of medical treatments and counseling for trans individuals to live their true selves; let’s not further dehumanize their existence. You won’t find any statistics that transgender women attack people in public restrooms. If the gender of the other person offends you when using the loo, you are the problem, not the person you’re being offended by.

Transgender people have been using the washrooms that fit their gender already. Just because they don’t have the same equipment does not make them any less than the gender they are. It’s pretty sad that society rejects someone because of how they look: They are human beings and contributors to their families and this country.

There are lots of things to worry about. I worry about my nieces and nephews being sexually assaulted, because that happens a lot. I worry about them being the victims of gun violence, because lots of people die from gun-related injuries. Here’s what I do not worry about: I don’t worry about them being attacked in a restroom by a trans woman, because it has never happened; trans women are the most victimized group of people I’ve ever met, and the least likely to commit a crime of indecency in a restroom, because they are too afraid of getting beat up when all they want to do is pee. I don’t worry about my nieces and nephews being cruel and inhumane to trans men, women, or kids, because they were raised to have good values, be respectful, and embrace diversity. There are things to worry about, and then there are things people want you to worry about to conceal their agenda of discrimination and hate.

Chris Tactaquin
Vineyard Haven