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The Martha's Vineyard Times is a weekly publication.
December 30 - January 5, 2004 Edition
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VISITING VET December 30, 2004 There is no new Visiting Vet column this week. December 23, 2004 By Michelle Gerhard Jasny, VMD Photo by Mae Deary. ‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all Island pets Were snug in their houses, while down at the vets; The i.v.s were hung by the cages with care In case an emergency ended up there. The black labs were nestled in their L.L. Bean beds While visions of marrowbones danced in their heads. And I, the old vet, was closing the clinic While humming a melody somewhat rabbinic. Then out of the quiet, my pager did beep A tone loud and urgent that made my heart leap. What was the matter? A cat hit by a car? Or a dog that had eaten a huge chocolate bar? On the LCD window, the message displayed Would tell me how long that I might be delayed. When, what to my wondering eyes should appear But these words: “Doctor Doolittle soon will be here.” The moon on the fog over Yellow Brick Road Could almost give one the impression it’d snowed. Then down from Old County, Doc Doolittle sped Calling out to the dogs, which were pulling his sled. Now Katama! Now Chappy! Menemsha, and Tashmoo! On Nobska! On Noepe! On Sachem, and Quansoo! From East Chop to West Chop, Down Island to Up! Dash away! Dash away! Dash away, pup! And then, in a twinkling, I heard at the door The sound of toenails a-scratching the floor. As I went to the waiting room, and turned on the light I saw Doctor Doolittle. Oh, what a sight! He was covered in cat hair, from his head to his toes With milk bones and catnip hanging out of his clothes. He put down his little black bag with a smile, Every inch of him looking the true zoophile. His eyes — they were tired! His nose — how it dripped! His hands full of scars from the times he’d been nipped. A shiny gold stethoscope bounced on his belly And his shoes left a trail of something quite smelly. Then after a moment, he opened his bag And all ‘cross the Vineyard, tails started to wag. “I’m prescribing your patients these magical pills That will keep them all healthy, and ward off all ills. No dogs will get bloat, or eat garbage or bones And all of the kitties will stay close to home. Puppies won’t play with electrical wire, Or candles that might set their tails on fire. Cats won’t eat tinsel or mistletoe berry So you can relax. Have a Christmas that’s merry. And if there is Chanukah gelt that’s leftover Remember that chocolate is not good for Rover. And here is a bonus, this magic will last Through Kwanzaa, and New Year’s, perhaps a bit past. So attend every party, if you feel like going And get into bed with the pleasure of knowing That no one will call in the middle of night To wake you and say that their pet isn’t right. Now close up your office, go home and have dinner I’ve still got a few stops to make in Aquinnah.” He sprang to his sled, to his team gave a whistle Then added, in Yiddish, “Ich vill schlofen a bissell.” And true to his word, he fell sound asleep As the dogs started off, and my beeper did beep. I looked one more time at the LCD screen Which this time was flashing bright words, red and green It said, “All Vineyard pets are tucked in safe and tight, Happy holidays all, and to all a Good Night!”

©The Martha's Vineyard Times 2004 - www.mvtimes.com