Martha Says

You’re Fired!

Dear Martha,

I have a small business of which I am usually the sole employee.  Occasionally I will hire someone to assist me.  I recently hired a young guy who turned out to be a disappointment.  There were just lots of things he didn’t “get”, and I got very frustrated with him.  When I informed him that we should part ways, he became very cagey, demanding his last paycheck in cash and other oddities.  I was never anything but honest with him and paid him on time for all his hours. 

I plan on paying him in full, but I’d like to give him a good chewing out for acting like such a cagey jerk at the end.  I know you’re going to tell me not to do it, but I just had to put it out there.

Signed,

Rebel Yell.

Dear Billy Idol,

Let me talk you down from the ledge.  Remember when you were young?  And you often didn’t “get” it?  And various bosses who you disappointed chewed you out even though you were doing your best?  Did they “fix” you? 

Your instinct to chew him out is normal, but so is the instinct to torture small animals, and we must fight it for the sake of our own dignity.  Lord knows what other miserable experiences this fellow has had in his life.  One or more have probably involved getting stiffed which is why he got cagey.  Why don’t you show him that in spite of everything we see around us, that it is possible to be gracious in the face of mutual disappointment? And that acrimony, while we may indulge, even build entire fantasy lives around it in private, is best not expressed in most circumstances.

When the final day comes, praise him for what he did well (fetch coffee?) pay him, and shake his hand.  Unless he stole from you, seriously consider giving him a small bonus as thanks for just showing up.  Offer genuine condolences that it didn’t work out as you had both imagined, wish him good luck, and offer to give help or advice in the future.  He will probably never ask for the help or advice, but when you meet again, and you will, the tone will be set and your interactions can be conducted with grace and civility.  And it will all be thanks to you.

Or chew him out.

Martha