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Monday, May 20, 2013

January 2011

It Takes a Village

By Christine Conley

My daughter was one of the “July” babies. There were rumored to be close to 27 of them expected at one point and as I prepared for our baby’s impending arrival, visions of delivering her in a crowded hospital hallway or a supply closet began to creep in. Of course, I did not deliver in a hallway, but a beautifully spacious room with attentive, professional and caring nurses, climate control, a birthing tub, and all the privacy we needed. This was simply the first, of what I have come to understand will be many, profound - and mostly exaggerated - anxieties that often accompany new parenthood. These tiny people come with BIG questions; is she getting enough to eat? Is my body capable of providing it? Why is she crying? Is she tired or hungry (or teething, or gassy, or bored?)? When should I introduce the bottle/formula/solids? For the time being, I’ve kissed my steadfast confidence goodbye and embraced this new way of being – the “fumbling my way through and praying it works” way. And it is! I think.

This new road of uncertainty has been made a little less scary to traverse because, as it turns out, I’m not alone (whew!). It seems most new parents experience varying degrees of the same thing. Thankfully I’ve found great support through programs such as the childbirth education class offered at the Hospital and a parent’s group called Baby’s First Year at the Family Center. Each provides a welcome chance to learn, share information and connect with other parents and babies. Many of the women I’ve met through these programs have become good friends and cohorts as we tackle motherhood together. Camaraderie created around first colds, first smiles, and sharing any tips we’ve learned, from herbal teas to The Sleep Lady, to help our little ones, and therefore ourselves,  find their first full night of sleep.

At the childbirth education class, seven couples, each coming from their own private experience of pregnancy, came together to learn about what we might expect from labor and delivery and how to cope through sleepless nights and crying newborns. Fears, anticipations and cookies were shared by all, and today, many of the same mothers’ gather with our infants twice a week at Baby’s First Year. There’s a bond that exists between us and all other new moms. Facing down the fear of delivery, we each now possess the child we’ve always wondered about. We know what they look like now. We’ve touched their tiny hands and kissed their little toes. We come from every walk of life and whether we’re working inside or outside the home, or if we’re younger or older; if we have an easy baby or one that offers more of a challenge, we share this common denominator. The trenches of motherhood have tied us together in mutual understanding. All of a sudden, the questioning by random women on private matters during my pregnancy makes more sense. Once a mother, always a mother, and whether she was seated around that table eating cookies with me or not, we all understand the full breadth of what that means.

Over these last months, I’ve come to accept that the uncertainty I’m now experiencing will only evolve with my daughter’s development. However, I’ve also come to appreciate that the community I’ve discovered through this new adventure will offer the support I need to navigate with a little more confidence.

In her former life, Christine wore many hats at Edible Vineyard magazine, including writing, managing advertising and distribution. Now she can be found wearing a baby carrier containing her 5 month old daughter and managing feedings, diaper changes and nap times.

Previous Family Matters Issues: November 2010 | October 2010 | September 2010

Thank you Red Stocking!!!

What’s New?

Child Care Network of the Cape & Islands will be on Martha’s Vineyard to meet with parents and providers about existing or new contracts for voucher funding.
When: Feb 9, April 6, May 4. Time: 9:00am to 4:00pm.
Where: MVCS Building B, Conference room.
Contact: Sandi Howard  508-778-9470 X225.

Community Care Services is the recipient of the Department of Early Education and Care (EEC) grant. This grant will enable master’s level clinicians to provide mental health consultation to early education and care centers across southeastern Massachusetts. Mental Health Consultation Program aims to strengthen the abilities of childcare programs to increase the healthy social-emotional development of children ages 0-14.  Learn more January 18th – 5:30- 7:30 p.m. Grace Church Pre-registration 508 693-0332