To the Editor:
I spent five hours last week pruning overgrown brush on your bicycle paths — to make them safer. I groomed six miles along Edgartown–Vineyard Haven Road, and another two between State Beach and the Triangle. You’re welcome.
At $50 an hour, Tisbury owes me $50; Edgartown and Oak Bluffs owe $100 each. I will happily forgive these bills as long as your road crews keep up my good work.
However, in the likely event that I must wield my clipper again between now and November, then all bets are off. You’ll owe my original bill plus the new charges. Maybe a hazard surcharge to cover ticks, prickers, and two-wheeled traffic …
If there’s no money in the budget, feel free to dip into your rental tax windfalls. I’ve booked a whole bunch this summer, and even the least expensive would more than cover the bill.
Please make your checks payable to Spokémon’s Hedge Fund. And don’t forget to Share the Road.