New Martha’s Vineyard fishing tourney announced

Ernest Hemingway, who once displayed a prized Scup next to a Marlin, will not be visiting Oak Bluffs this summer. — Photo courtesy Wikimedia Commons

Monster Scup tourney to come to OB.

Just when you thought the bloody mayhem was over in Oak Bluffs, a group of investors announced today that a Monster Scup Tournament will be held this July 21-14.

“The tournament serves two purposes,” said Oak Bluffs mayor Chris Alley. “The monster scup problem is out of hand. They’re decimating the food chain in our waters. They’re even scaring the monster sharks away. We have to kill as many as we can,” he said with an urgent tone.

“On the plus side, they’re a lot bloodier than sharks when you slice them open, and you never know what you’ll find, like that jet skier last year.”

“I’m all for it,” said Peter Martell, owner of the Wesley Hotel. “Between the fishermen, their families, and all the national guard, it’s going to bring a lot of business to Oak Bluffs.”

(April Fools).