Parody: Bridge dancing is a draw

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To the Editor:

The town of Tisbury loves the dancing gates of its famous drawbridge. According to the town manager, it feels like a drive-in movie theater as the metal arms imitate a ballet, elegantly appearing out from their hidden places and performing a dance to a mysterious silence, except for an occasional clink, as they slowly and methodically settle into a horizontal position — resting as it will — until the next arm, slender as a ballet dancer, moves into its position. The performance happens at various intervals in time, and vehicles line up for miles to sit and wait for the show to proceed. Eventually eight dancing limbs find their way to their horizontal resting places and prepare for another performance in a very short while. 

The lines of vehicles, cars, trucks, scooters, and bikes all have a rest from driving, but only a lucky few hundred can actually see the performance, as the line of admiring lucky travelers wait for meaning in this dance, which is not purely for entertainment, but has a practical side to it as well. If one is lucky enough to be in front — and we all want to be in front, do we not? — one can see that there is a purpose to this dance, as boats, some tall, some small, begin a parade of sail traveling under the parked cars and trucks, making their way in the water as best they can, dealing with current and listening to instructions while bridge tenders guide them through the dancing bridge. Rapt travelers, fascinated by the variety and color of the parade, sometimes of only one boat, listening to radio, air conditioners on, idling their engines as they rest peacefully with a view to a performance unique in the entire world. 

Soon after the parade ends, a signal is audible, and the dance begins once again. There are eight dancers in this performance, and each one is special and flawlessly goes through the motions. Acclaimed and admired by thousands of people parked for a brief time as in an outdoor movie theater, this pleasant and unique performance repeats in exactly reverse order as a majestic final act commences with a giant steel and concrete slice of road descending from the heavens above, where God resides and watches over all of the vehicles, and returns to sleep again and allow all manner of people and vehicles to wander over him to go about their business. A superb performance applauded by the artists and dignitaries from the town of Tisbury. 

Listen to the words of supporters as they define what takes place throughout the summers on Martha’s Vineyard. 

(silence) 

The performance is now over, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you for coming, see you next time.

 

Frank Brunelle

Vineyard Haven