Let This Darkness Be a Bell Tower
By Rainer Maria Rilke
Quiet friend who has come so far,
feel how your breathing makes more space around you.
Let this darkness be a bell tower
and you the bell. As you ring,
what batters you becomes your strength.
Move back and forth into the change.
What is it like, such intensity of pain?
If the drink is bitter, turn yourself to wine.
In this uncontainable night,
be the mystery at the crossroads of your senses,
the meaning discovered there.
And if the world has ceased to hear you,
say to the silent earth: I flow.
To the rushing water, speak: I am.
Our hearts are bursting. The unrelenting terribles are battering us. What can I do? Breathe out the warmth of kindness, compassion, and caring I feel for my family, friends, and community.
Lifting my sternum to the sun, feeling the shift as my shoulders drop, my lungs fill, I’m leaning back and feel held by the space behind me. Breathing in and out.
There is a part of me that notices. It is quiet and calm. It notices, and doesn’t judge or shame or problem-solve. It notices heartaches and breaks and unspeakables. It sees the struggles and the triumphs. My heart is bursting at the seams, and it is not breaking. Is this compassion?
Yossi Kai Monahan’s family hosted a celebration of life in Colorado and on Zoom, Saturday, Dec. 9. It was his 18th birthday. Many of us chose to gather in person, at Pathways in the Chilmark Tavern and in the Tri-Town Ambulance training room on Middle Road in Chilmark, where the room overflowed with love and comfort.
Katie Carroll sent a follow-up email: “After thinking a little bit more about Yossi and how fond he was of tactile and spiritual things, I thought I’d put together a book to send to Mike, and I would make a copy for Fynn and Anja and Spa as well. If anyone would like to contribute a handwritten or typed note, a sketch, a photo, or whatever feels right, just let me know. This is nothing I plan to rush, so take a little time to think if you need it. My thought is nothing fancy, just something homey and heartfelt — a little glue and a whole lot of love. I’d love some help with this if anyone is interested. Or if someone more artistic than me wants to take the lead, then I am certainly OK with that, too.
“Mailing is 36 Bartlett Woods, Chilmark. Or you know I’m easily found at the Texaco …” Katie’s email address is: squidrow@vineyard.net.
Saturday, Dec. 16, 10 am to 4 pm, the Chilmark Church hosts its Holiday Flea in the Chilmark Community Center. It is a great opportunity to get out, visit, and shop. There will be holiday greens, antiques and artwork, jellies and jams, baked goods, and the traditional affordable church treasure table. I encourage you to check in with friends and family and your favorite artists.
There are many more wonderful things happening, and I urge you to check the events sections of the papers; the Chilmark library and Pathways continue to offer wonderful events.
The Menemsha Fish Market serves up delicious meals and seafood. The Menemsha Texaco offers fuel for your vehicle, heart, and body.
I wish I could tightly swaddle, hold, and rock those who are hurting in a quilt of love. I continue to hold us all in the light. Breathing out love to the space between us, and noticing and taking deep breaths in acknowledging the many expressions of love. We are standing next to one another.
If you have any Chilmark Town Column suggestions, email Claire Ganz, cganz@live.com.