Last Sunday, members of the group Stand With Everyone Against Rape (SWEAR) embarked on their annual two-day retreat off-Island to Camp Burgess in Sandwich, where students and faculty engaged in conversation and learning around gender-based violence and rape culture.
Arriving on Sunday, students participated in bonding activities that included a ropes course, and discussed topics like gender, the socialization of boys and manhood, pornography, rape culture, and what it is to be an active bystander. Their time together also served as an opportunity to plan this year’s schoolwide assembly, which will take place in the spring.
The retreat comes at a time of heightened national attention on sexual violence, as the Cornell Seven case has reignited outrage about accountability, and even prompted a student-led walkout at MVRHS two weeks ago.
School adjustment counselors Matt Malowski and Amy Lilavois are co-advisors of the program. Matt said, “[What happened at Cornell] is exactly what we are trying to prevent through our SWEAR programming. Our mission is to end all forms of gender-based violence. The sad thing, among so many sad things that ended with a woman being assaulted, was that there were so many others who could have intervened and did not.”
SWEAR has been a vital program at MVRHS for the past 11 years. The initiative is predominantly led by male students, operating on a core belief that sexual violence isn’t solely a woman’s issue. The program runs in partnership with Connect to End Violence, the Martha’s Vineyard local rape-crisis center.
“We try to teach the students how to be active bystanders and stop or prevent any harm being caused,” said Mr. Malowski. “We teach them how to do it in safe ways, but ways that are also effective and well researched, things like the 3 D’s: be direct, delegate to someone else to help, or cause a distraction that will end the bad behavior.”
Senior SWEAR member Illana Bastista shared one of her main takeaways from this year’s retreat: “I think a lot of people are afraid to talk about certain issues that are uncomfortable or taboo, but that’s exactly why we need to have those conversations. To see boys’ perspectives shift and seeing how much we can learn from each other — at the end of the day, we’re all there because we want to change the patriarchal system we live in.”
Female students in the SWEAR program organized the walkout that took place on Oct. 8.
Senior Emily DaSilva said, “During the protest I got chills, because it’s a little unusual for people to collectively take action that soon. My guess is they did because of how Cornell responded to the incident, with an essay and suspension.”
Senior River Maxner shared similar concerns about how the punishments were dealt with by Cornell. “It made me really upset about how it was handled, because it just teaches offenders that they won’t get in [serious] trouble, and that this kind of thing will continue happening,” she said.
Emily also shared newfound worries about going to college next fall. “After Cornell, I’ve become more cautious with my surroundings,” she said. “I feel as if there should be more to help protect women or victims of sexual assault.”
Matt stressed that he hopes SWEAR students carry on the work. “It would be amazing if these kids start SWEAR chapters at their college and work environments,” he said. “Of course, if they ever do want to do that and need help, that is what we are here for. They don’t have to reinvent the wheel.”
“We can’t expect things to change if we’re not willing to speak up when something is wrong,” Illana said. “It only takes one person to make other people realize the harm being done.”
