To the Editor:
“Wow, back of the line this morning. Six cars in front of me. What is taking so long? C’mon lady. Go. Okay. Here we go. Five, 4, 3 cars turning, am I gonna be lucky? Two, 1. Ohhhh. Shut down. What’s coming down?
Oh man. Pickup turned right with no blinker, give me a break Bud. Too much to handle with your cell phone and coffee? Ooh. Okay. Yeah? Can I get out? Are you letting me out? You’re not doing anything. You have no blinker on, but it looks like you’re letting me go. Are you letting me go? Oh yeah, there’s the “angry wave to go.” Look up to my left. Damn.
Those cars do not look like they’re on board with me going. They’re going pretty fast. Definitely not 20 mph. Can I get out? Oh yeah. He’s turning right. I can get out. Oh, oh. Littler car behind him is barreling toward me. Angry waver is shaking his head at me and going on. I see him saying you missed your chance, lady. I’ll wait again. Somebody will be turning left soon.
“No stress as I come from Vineyard Haven on State Road to the Edgartown-Vineyard Haven Road. Look at all those poor folks coming from my left. All they want is a chance, just a chance, from someone to let them out. Well? I can let a couple go, but just a couple, because if I let too many go, then I start feeling the stress behind me. Don’t be a bleeding heart, lady… geez. Okay that’s enough. I need to turn here too, y’know. I telepathically tell you that it’s over now, it’s my turn to make a move. I need to turn left here and oohhh, somebody’s barreling down from up Island.
Oh man. I do not need this added stress. I need to get home. The dog needs to be let out. Oh, wow. The car coming from down-Island has just come to a stop. Is she letting me go? Or is it for the car to her left from Look Street? Oh man, it is.
But, I have the right of way, right? I’m already in the intersection of a thoroughfare. Am I wrong dude? I’m turning left and you’re letting me, right? Oh man. The Look Streeter got out. Is he going straight onto the Edgartown-Vineyard Haven Road? And I can sneak in behind him? Or oh, he’s headed down-Island. Geez, that was close…
Gotta get to the boat . . . gotta get to the boat . . . so easy in the right lane of the Edgartown-Vineyard Haven Road. So glad I’m not turning left right now. So easy . . . Ia Ia dee da . . .
Gotta get to the boat . . . gotta get to the boat. Do not try to cut me off. I am on the thoroughfare and I can just do what I want. Oh no, you didn’t just turn up-Island from and cut me off. I am large and in charge coming down from the mountain ……
I’m in back of this truck and we’re headed down-Island and we are having our fun. We rule, yeah. We don’t need to do no stinkin’ 20 mph. Aaaahhhhhhh. He stopped. He just stopped. He’s not supposed to stop here. He’s letting those cars out from the Edgartown-Vineyard Haven Road. He just stopped for no reason.
I always feel like such a dweeb coming out to this intersection from Look Street. We shouldn’t be able to do this. It messes everybody up. I can’t quite see to my right, so I have to stick out. Watch out for that pedestrian coming on the nice new sidewalk. How do I tell everyone that I need to go onto the Edgartown-Vineyard Haven Road? Do I use my left blinker or does that look like I’m turning to proceed down-Island on State Road? Aaah. That guy from the Edgartown-Vineyard Haven Road is gonna turn left and broadside me. (Sound of brakes squealing.) You go… No, you go! Okay, I’ll… Hey, you just said to go. I’m going.
The Blinker intersection is a piece of cake compared to the Twilight Zone that is the State State Road-Edgartown-Vineyard Haven Road intersection (and Look Street, sorry, little Look Street). It seems to me that the Four-way works at the Blinker intersection. This other nightmare at the end of the Edgartown-Vineyard Haven Road needs a traffic light. Red means stop, and green means go. No stress, no telepathy needed, no negotiating of any kind with a simple traffic light. And if you have to wait, at least you’re assured of having a safe passage through the Bermuda Triangle when the light changes. It can be coordinated with the boat arrivals too. These tense moments increase exponentially with added summer traffic, pedestrians and first time driving visitors. Anybody with me on this?
Be kind, you online responders. Stick to the issue and try not to guess to which political party I belong. And no, I wasn’t born here, but I still have common sense, even as a washashore.