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To the Editor:

Just came back from a week-long Thanksgiving visit with my kids and grandkids who all live in Florida. I had told myself and Dorris several times that I would consider the trip a grand success if I came back alive.And I did come back alive, though very tired after 12 hours in cars, planes, buses, boats and waiting areas on the return trip. Brrr, it was cold when the taxi dropped us off, but we had left the heat on in the hose, and it was cozy entering. I turned on the TV, hoping to make the place even warmer. A notice in green appeared informing me that my Explorer is no longer active and to call an 800 number.

$500? I owe you over $500? I can pay over the phone? Good. Payment accepted. What? I could have saved hundreds of dollars? Look I just came back from Florida, and I still have my coat on. Ahh, the TV is back on, thanks.

Do I want to bundle in my telephone service with my cable and save hundreds a year? No. No? Yes, no.

Okay, okay, what do I have to do, because I want to take my coat off and go to bed. Good idea. I’ll put the phone down for a few minutes while you fill out the forms. I poured myself two fingers of vodka.

Bye and bye, we hung up and the deal was ready to sign. I was not sure what I had agreed to. As I trudged up the stairs with eyes half closed and a ringing in my ears, I began wondering if I should call Verizon to see if they had a better deal.

The Eddie That Had Come Back then looked over at his bed and felt a tear building. Isn’t that nice. The Eddie That Left had made the bed and placed fresh winter pajamas by the pillow for my return. Nice guy.

Ed Housman