It’s been close to a year since my brother Neil Welch’s accident, Nov. 24, 2014, and his journey toward recovery continues. Neil came home from a rehabilitation hospital in Plymouth on March 12, 2015. Since then he has had regular therapy, as well as many doctor’s appointments and tests both here and in Boston. One of the breaks in Neil’s lower right leg did not heal, so he will be having surgery, Friday, Nov. 6, 2015. He will more than likely be in rehab for a few weeks and then come home. Neil’s most challenging injury, for himself and his family, has been his head injury: traumatic brain injury, TBI. Its effects include but are not limited to impulsivity, memory problems, inappropriate reasoning and behavior, mood swings, and safety concerns, and in my view the one that is most unkind is that the brain tells you you are fine and don’t need any help. I believe on some level Neil intuitively knows his family loves and cares for him with our helpful hovering, my proof being his neon coat and vest that he mostly reluctantly but consistently wears on his many walks about town. Neil’s future and ours will continue to unfold with time.
This past year has taught me a lot. I’ve learned and gained compassion for being a caregiver, the struggles of someone with a brain injury, that their willfulness may not be that at all; and most important for me, I’ve reconnected with family. Neil and I grew up with our cousins. Our moms were sisters, and we were all together all the time. Our grandparents lived next door, bringing more cousins to play with. We visited each other’s houses without calling first. We rode bikes and played games with other neighborhood kids and went to the beach. Throughout the winter, visiting Neil and when Neil was coming home, our cousins readily offered and responded to our family’s requests for help, and continue to be there for us and particularly for my mom as she cares for Neil at home. When planning Neil’s upcoming fundraiser, Nov. 11 at the P.A. Club, we called upon friends, which sparked volunteers, giving us the help we need and more. When my brother Darren and I have been unable to fulfill one of Neil’s daily routines, Darren’s friends have not hesitated to help. I’m grateful for my renewed connection with family and friends. Maybe it’s a renewed connection with myself that I’ve gained through my willingness to accept help that has been so generously and graciously offered. It has given me renewed faith and insight that you rarely have to go through these difficult times alone, that being alone is most often a choice. Even though the extended services sometimes needed for Neil are limited here, the wealth of support from our community is abundant. I and my family wholeheartedly thank you.
Diane Welch
Edgartown
P.S.: None of us can remember who gave and how Neil got his nickname “Apple” in high school. If anyone remembers, not only we but Neil’s entire medical community in Boston would love to know.