- You refer to Europe as off-Island.
- A wild turkey is not a drink, it’s living in your backyard.
- You keep a couple of “doxies”* on hand, “just in case.”
- There’s only one Derby, and it’s not in Kentucky.
- You keep one pair of Carhartt’s for special occasions.
- You have three jobs.
- You take a ferry to go grocery shopping.
- Car wash? What’s a car wash?
- There’s always at least one warning light lit on your dashboard.
- You consider it normal to wait three months for a plumber.
- You have mice in your truck.
- You have a dog acupuncturist on speed dial.
- You pay no attention to a presidential motorcade whizzing by
- Seatbelt, what seatbelt?
- The mileage on your car could get you to the moon and back
- You think nothing of renting your house to total strangers every year.
- You have a son named Sengekontacket.
- You’ve used your clothes iron once since the 90’s — for a door stop
- Summer vacation? What summer vacation?
- Tick check.
* If you don’t know what “doxies” are, you’re definitely NOT an Islander.
