To the Editor:

The top 10 reasons President Biden will probably show up on the Vineyard this summer:

  1. Tradition. He just got elected president of the U.S. (See Clinton, Obama.)
  2. He’s a Democrat. (See Clinton, Obama.)
  3. He needs a scenery change. His beach place in Rehoboth Beach is nice, but it’s no Martha’s freakin’ Vineyard. Not enough electoral votes in Delaware, anyway.
  4. Re-election. Political money. The Vineyard is rolling in it.
  5. Re-election. Political money. He needs to get here before AOC discovers the place. (Yes, she will be old enough to run in 2024.)

6a. Worse. Much. Vladimir Putin is reportedly house-hunting somewhere around Herring Creek. Needs to be sent a strong message.

  1. If re-elected, the president will be about 99 in 2028, when he leaves office. He should start shopping Vineyard nursing homes now.
  2. Media relations. The Vineyard did wonders for Obama and Clinton. No journalist ever liked going to scorched East Texas to cover Bush the W.
  3. Ditto family, staff, and Secret Service. We’re only beginning to find out how much fun they had when Bill and Barack were here. Warning: Keep a careful eye on son Hunter.
  4. Ditto the Island economy. Someone has to house, wine, and dine all that humanity.
  5. He’s the most powerful person on Planet Earth. Name a better place to be in August.

 

Owen Joyner
Oak Bluffs and New Orleans