In a parallel universe

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To the Editor:

With the proposal to give Circuit Avenue a facelift on the verge of becoming reality, I submit a final plea to reconsider the aspect of converting angle parking to the dreaded parallel parking.

Angle parking is safer, easier, faster, and more efficient. With the intense summer traffic congestion at the base of Circuit Avenue, why in the world would a different parking method be implemented that is less safe, harder, slower, and less efficient?

Imagine yourself ready to turn right onto Circuit Avenue in the summer, and the car in front of you pulls easily into an open parking space in front of the Ritz, DONE. That’s the wonderful way it is now.

Now imagine that same car having to parallel park between two expensive cars on that steep hill. Consider the pressure and stress of the less-skilled driver to parallel park in a timely fashion. The time it takes to parallel park is substantially more, and imagine how long it would take a driver who has to make several attempts to get it right, and each time the flow of traffic comes to a complete stop. Now multiply that scenario over the course of a day and night for all of those newly proposed parallel parking spots on Circuit Avenue, and the traffic congestion has become exponentially much, much worse.

But wait, there’s more! Parallel parking, especially on a steep hill, is much more likely to cause accidents, from bumper dents to fender-benders, to doors being clipped when opened into passing traffic, and possibly worse if pedestrians find themselves crushed between the bumpers of two parallel-parked cars. Because of these unnecessary events, police will be called to the scene, traffic may be stopped indefinitely, and what was once a pleasant experience in Oak Bluffs turns into a noisy, congested nightmare.

Parallel parking in this area also ushers in horrific possibilities. Vehicles that are bumped out of gear will no longer just roll across the street, but they will start to roll, and if there are no vehicles parked behind them, they could feasibly roll back down the hill into a populated intersection at a high rate of speed.

If there are any options left to stopping this INSANE proposal to convert angle parking to parallel parking on a hill on Circuit Avenue, please let them be done!

If I were to make an analogy of this situation, I would say that Oak Bluffs is like Santa Claus, an old, but much loved establishment. It appears that some folks would like to give Santa a crew cut, shave his beard, tear up his jolly red suit, dress him up with an ill-fitting business suit, pull him out of his workshop in the North Pole, and relocate him where you will find him ringing his bell on the corner of Wall Street and the Twilight Zone.

Peter Pfluger
Oak Bluffs