Lorraine Parish’s new book, “Miles to San Miguel,” is part confessional memoir and part road trip journal, from the Vineyard to her new life in Mexico.
Parish opens with a prologue where she is on the ferry leaving the Vineyard, car packed with her beloved dog Pearl and trusty mannequin, yes, a mannequin named Agatha, as traveling companions. They head off on a 2,800-mile, eight-day trip with her prized possessions. She is leaving behind an entire chapter, 41 years here on the Island, and her well-regarded business.
The first chapter, dated September 2017, orients us to the moment when she trusted her instincts to make a significant life change: “That very moment, that very thought, presented itself to me when I turned 66. It was as if hundreds of quiet little intimations of discontent suddenly joined forces, and became one big smack across the face. It said, ‘We’re bored. Our days are numbered. We’re dying here; this is not who we are.’”
Having heard about San Miguel de Allende, Parish took an exploratory trip there in November 2019. There, she writes, through a chance encounter, she “found a kindred spirit, another fearless traveler in life — a younger soul sister, you could say, and meeting this familiar woman, who shared her past while I was facing my possible future, changed my life forever. Her name is Sharon, and this book is the story of our relationship before and during the pandemic of 2020 and the road journey of nearly 3,000 miles it took to get back to her and beautiful San Miguel.”
What follows is Parish’s journey, with each chapter of her stops along the way punctuated by memories that she and Sharon had shared while Parish was still on the Vineyard trying to arrange her move. The two women trade intimate stories about the past, revealing their adventures and misadventures over the years, most of which were quite edgy. And while seemingly different, they’re deeply connected, as we later learn.
In one story, Parish recounts a time when she describes herself as a “businesswoman-whore” who slept with her fabric salesman for his cotton sateen and the compromises she made to keep the business alive. After the recounting, and throughout the book, Parish adds wonderful sayings by recognized individuals. Here, we have an appropriate one from Marilyn Monroe: “A wise girl knows her limits; a smart girl knows that she has none.” In another instance, when reflecting on aging, Parish includes a quote from Martha Graham: “‘Age’ is the acceptance of a term of years. But maturity is the glory of years.”
A few of Sharon’s tales include jail time — once from unwittingly carrying white mescaline tablets in her car, left behind by hippie hitchhikers (along with the residue of marijuana in her pipe). Fortunately, when the case went to trial, the judge saw the corruption of the arresting officer for illegal search and seizure. Another of Sharon’s stories included is a close call in a life-threatening situation in which she was held hostage for three days by a crazy, coke-sniffing boyfriend with a gun, only to get away by the skin of her teeth.
In another instance, Parish recounts getting involved with a con man online who went after her business, her house, and her cash. When Parish reaches her childhood state of Alabama, she remembers her youth at a lakehouse, which featured an old hermit. We read, too, of her granny, who was quite the character — a scandalous alcoholic and promiscuous old lady who rented rooms in her house to male “guests.”
But whether the shared memories are salacious or not, what comes through is that the relationship between Parish and Sharon, who she writes is a bad-mouthed, drug-taking hippie, is intimate and understanding, with Parish continually conveying how she loves Sharon just the way she is.
When Parish finally reaches San Miguel, she has a brief honeymoon period before, as we find out in the epilogue, she faces some challenges. Some have to do with unpleasant people she meets, as well as coming to terms with giving up her professional identity. She writes that people like her, who at the appropriate time in their lives, give up their professional identities, can and do sometimes experience years of profound personal crises. “And it doesn’t make a difference if you stay where you are, or if you move 500 or 5,000 miles away. Nor did the circumstances when you get there matter; surrendering a lifelong identity is traumatic, especially for those who love their work, and loved it passionately.”
Ultimately, she describes learning to frame a difficult situation as growing pains, putting her mind into a more positive, progressive, and open place.
In an email interview, Paris explained that she included her memories within the narrative of her trip in order “to share who I am, warts and all, because and, well, to be truthful, they were fun to remember and important to me at my age, to record them before I forget.”
Preferring to write essays and screenplays, Parish says about her new book, “I honestly had never thought to write a book. Book writing seemed like such a daunting undertaking. The process was not only wonderful, it kept me grounded, and gave me purpose in my new life. And no matter what was happening, good or bad, but especially the bad, once I began to write, it all just fell away. It was amazing.
“I truly believe we are the authors of our own lives, and this book is meant to convey that belief. My hope is that ‘Miles to San Miguel’ will inspire the men and women out there who desire and dream of a new life adventure to take the leap. So far, I have no regrets. I have always agreed with the philosophy that the only regrets you will have in life are the things you did not do.”
“Miles to San Miguel,” by Lorraine Parish. Available at Bunch of Grapes, Edgartown Books, and Cronig’s Market.
