Talking to Polly Simpkins is inspiring, which is not entirely surprising, given that part of her life’s work is to inspire others. Simpkins is a ceremonialist, Interfaith Minister, DJ at MVY Radio, death doula, and story-gathering guru. She’s also a fourth-generation Islander. “My grandfather, William Smith, came in the early 1800s from Glasgow, Scotland. My grandmother Emma grew up in West Tisbury, and moved to Daggett Avenue in Vineyard Haven after her husband died. She cleaned houses and sold doughnuts from her front yard to stay afloat, and raised my mom,” Simpkins said. “I moved here when I was in high school, and I didn’t know anyone, so it was a very solitary time for me. I would walk down to the Bunch of Grapes bookstore and sit in the religion and philosophy section for hours, and read about all the different religions and spiritual traditions that people are involved in. When I was in college, I’d go back and forth from the Island to Iowa, where I went to study journalism.”
After college, Simpkins moved to NYC and went to graduate school at Columbia: “I got married and had kids, and then my dad had a stroke, so we moved back to the Island in 2013, and took care of him until he died in 2018.” During that time, Simpkins lost her brother as well: “Losing my brother and being with my dad in the last moments of his life led me to want to focus more on spirituality.”
Simpkins’ mother also strongly influenced her spiritual journey. “My mom had a dying wish for me,” she said. “She never got to go to college, and she always wanted to travel, but was never able to. Before she died, she asked if I’d go to India for her. She loved the idea of India. A year later, I fulfilled that promise. I went to Calcutta and worked at Mother Teresa’s Home for the Dying. Seeing how differently death was approached there led me to becoming a death doula.”
Just as birth doulas provide resources that can help women with pregnancy and the birth experience, death doulas, also referred to as end-of-life doulas, offer a range of services for both the dying person and their loved ones.
“Right after I was ordained, I decided to take the University of Vermont’s death doula certification,” Simpkins said. “It’s about helping someone who is dying spiritually, and also helping them prepare for and deal with the realistic things that come up. It has led me to work with some amazing people, who I think have inspired me more than anyone in my life has. I worked with one man who I learned so much from. He felt like everyone wanted him to stay alive, and felt pressured to heal, but in truth he felt ready to die. From him I learned the importance of honoring and normalizing death, and meeting people where they are. He told me a story about this red bicycle that he always wanted, and of all the places he’d go with it. He kept it in his garage, and was waiting for the perfect time to use it. Then he got sick and was never able to use it. It just sat in his garage. This was one of his regrets — that he wished he’d used that bike. I sometimes share this story when I’m talking to people about life in general, and the importance of identifying what things you want to do while you’re alive and well. Working with the dying has taught me to ride that red bicycle.”
Simpkins doesn’t take this lesson lightly. When she was 58 years old, she decided to walk the Camino de Santiago. “I did the full Camino Frances — the French route of the camino — which is 500 miles. I started in September and finished in November,” Simpkins said. “I did it completely alone and in silence, because I wanted to be in a place where I could really listen to my life and walk every day with Spirit with no distractions.”
The Camino de Santiago is considered a legendary pilgrimage, a spiritual journey, attracting people from diverse backgrounds to the Cathedral of Santiago de Compostela in the Galicia region in Northwest Spain.
“I felt like I was crazy for considering Interfaith Seminary and walking the Camino at that age, but I reached out to an author I really resonate with — Barbara Brown Taylor — who wrote one of my favorite books, ‘An Altar in the World.’ I didn’t think she’d answer my letter, but she did, and we wound up becoming pen pals,” Simpkins said. “She told me to go for it — that if it was calling to me, then I should follow. I think so many of us think, ‘Oh, I’m too old for this or that,’ but I know people in their 50s and 60s and beyond who are doing incredible things, and I’m so inspired by them.”
Simpkins has found several ways to incorporate her passion for ceremony into action. She has a company called Petal Sky through which she offers a variety of services, including end-of-life ceremony and care, weddings, renewal of vows, and gratitude ceremonies. “It was on one of the days on the Camino when I created Petal Sky, which is kind of an illustration of my personal ministry to bring joy, inspiration, and comfort through ceremony and companionship for those looking for support on life’s journey,” she said.
One of the other ways Simpkins honors the act of ceremony is through an event she’s created called Cup of Karma. Cup of Karma creates public storytelling opportunities, where people gather to share tales and celebrate the people who matter to them. “I didn’t realize it at the time, but I created the Cup of Karma Project in the fall of 1987, the day I met a holy man on the midnight train from Copenhagen to Amsterdam. He shared his life philosophy with me, which focused on appreciating the people we love in this world. He asked me to find a way to share his way of seeing life in some way unique to me. Every day since, I have continued sharing his vision the best way I know how, and to honor those I love and learn from in this world.”
Simpkins is especially interested in intergenerational stories. “It’s important to hear one another’s stories — all different ages and backgrounds,” she said. “The divide is very present between generations, but it’s important to honor where we’ve been, our ancestry, the people who came before us, and those who come after us.”
The Island is the perfect place to listen to a variety of stories, as people come here from all over the world. “The beauty of people’s connection to Martha’s Vineyard — I’m so interested in celebrating that,” Simpkins said. “I love all the ways we have to connect with each other and find spiritual guidance. There are so many ways of accessing a spiritual connection to something greater than ourselves, and all paths are valid and meaningful. Whether it’s a walk at Polly Hill, stopping by the holiday fair at WTCC to hear the handbell choir, sitting in the peace and beauty of Grace Church on Easter Sunday, experiencing the awe of the Tabernacle or Union Chapel on a steamy August prayer-filled service, or sitting in on a meditation session at Bodhi Path Buddhist Center, our Island lends itself to a myriad of communities of support, love, and fun on our spiritual path.”
Though I have never asked this in an interview, for some reason I felt inclined to ask Simpkins what her life motto is, and what she hopes for. She said, “I feel there is so much division in our world, and I hope for understanding, more listening, and more reaching out to understand others’ perspectives and viewpoints. In the end, it’s all about remembering our common humanity. If I had to choose a motto, it’d be: Don’t forget to let them know you love them. Not just people who are easy to love, but also people who challenge us and don’t agree with us. We need more understanding and love, no matter how different we are.”
To learn more about Polly Simpkins, visit her websites at acupofkarma.com and petal-sky.com.
