John Milnor Wilbur III, known as Jay his entire life, was born in Newton on Feb. 27, 1952, and died on Dec. 22, 2024. Boats and the Atlantic Ocean were a focus of his life from a very early age, in Massachusetts, Rhode Island, South Carolina, or the Jersey Shore. He attended Beverly High School and the University of Maine at Portland Gorham.
After college, Jay spent more than a decade in the Caribbean captaining boats of all sizes. Watching Jay dock a 50-foot sailboat in a stiff wind was a beautiful event even at a young age! He returned to New England, and settled on Martha’s Vineyard, where he was selected for the sought-after job of harbormaster of Vineyard Haven. Soon after he met and married Beth Saint Amour. The next 20 years were busy, happy times filled with golden retrievers, friends, and family.
Tragically, Jay lost Beth in early 2020. Although the entire world struggled through the next few years, Jay endured. He was able to purchase a lovely piece of property on Hines Point, where he enjoyed a beautiful view of Lagoon Pond. Soon after he met the lovely Susan Garrett of Oak Bluffs. Together the next three years were some of the most relaxed and enjoyable in his life.
Jay never had any children, but he loved his large family with many siblings, nieces, nephews, in-laws, and cousins. Friends were also important in his life. In addition to Beth, Jay’s parents and brother Brent preceded him in death. His parents were Jane and John Wilbur of Beverly and Vineyard Haven. His siblings are Cindy Wilbur Thomas (John) of Grand Junction, Colo., Dean Gordon Wilbur (Cricket) of Ipswich, Ann Wilbur King (Stephen) of Aptos, Calif., and Heyward Brent Wilbur.
Brent and Lesley Wilbur had one son, Nicholas Brent Wilbur (Nick), who with his wife Becca and children Finley Jane and Oscar Brent Wilbur live year-round on the Vineyard, and were very important in Jay’s life. Other nieces and nephews include Kelly and Sam Wilbur of Massachusetts, and Darst, Caroline, and Emily of California.
Grace Episcopal Church in Vineyard Haven was a place of solace and joy to Jay and to many of the Wilbur family. Contributions in memory of Jay’s life may be made there at PO Box 1197, Vineyard Haven, MA 02568. Two services will be held: one on Saturday, January 11 at 11 am at Grace Episcopal Church, at the corner of William and Woodlawn streets in Vineyard Haven, and one in early summer. All are welcome!
