March is National Women’s History Month and when looking at history through a culinary lens, it’s always much more insightful to look at present-day experiences and learn how they came about. That’s why this month’s piece focuses on the women on the Island who lead the culinary scene, with thoughtful conversations on everything that encompasses the reasons they came into this field. We’ll also look at how they are building spaces and careers that are sustainable for the future. Because when looking at the future and how to build a better one, we learn from the past. You’ll read the experiences of the following women:
- Jenny DeVivo, Educator and Chef at The FARM Institute
- Lori Gregory, Private Chef and Caterer
- Madison Morris, Executive Pastry Chef at Behind the Bookstore
- Randi Rachlow, Pastry Chef and Baker at Morning Glory Farm
- Darya Shelby, Private Chef and Caterer
- Spring Sheldon, Chef and Owner of S&S Kitchenette
- Sofia Tejeda, Executive Pastry Chef at The Winnetu Oceanside Resort
- Chef Ting, Chef and Owner of Black Joy Kitchen
When we think about leadership in kitchens, it’s still a very much male-dominated industry, and as more and more women rise through the ranks, we’re seeing more kitchens led by female chefs. What does it take for a woman to lead in kitchens, and what gets lost along the way is the first question that comes to mind as we discuss the topic with the chefs:
Chef Ting: “I think the hardest part about being a female executive chef is the need to abandon femininity in order to be a boss. Food brings me to the truest sense of myself: creative, nurturing, patience, understanding, joyful and often delighted. And yet, running a kitchen and a restaurant requires me to be direct, demanding, uncompromising, efficient, and in-charge. I dream of a time when my softness, curiosity, and creativity can lead the way.”
Chef Morris: “Straight out of culinary school I had the privilege, that not many have, to come into a Michelin-starred kitchen where we had two very strong female chefs who made themselves heard and respected and were great examples of where the kitchen culture is working towards.
Fortunately, there was also an equal balance of men and women working alongside me, who were all inspired by the environment and it made us all want to be better.”
As Morris speaks on her early career environments and how she thankfully had a very positive experience, that isn’t the general rule of thumb for most chefs. Chef Sheldon chats with me a bit more about her experience:
“It was a male-dominated, abusive [environment], both emotionally and physically. Sexual harassment and assault were common place and were ignored and excused away by chefs (mostly men). I was sexually assaulted by two employees of the restaurant I worked in at the time. I stayed working there because I didn’t really know what else to do, and I was on the fact track to make CDC (Chef de Cuisine) and didn’t want to mess that up. I always say that I didn’t learn much in the restaurants I worked in, except for how to NOT run a restaurant.”
The experience Sheldon had was one that is commonly seen across kitchens in the world, and Chef Tejeda shines a bit more light into how her experience shaped her:
I was usually the only woman in the kitchen, young and the rules and lines drawn on what was and wasn’t acceptable were very blurred, so the men really thought they could get away with anything. Any pushback on my side always resulted in me being labeled as “rude” or “intimidating”. Those labels only pushed me to work without regard to what they thought.
Discussing these negative moments and experience makes me wonder, is kitchen culture changing, and what improvements actually matter for mental health? I posed this question to the chefs and they all had a variety of answers:
Chef Shelby: I’m honestly not sure how to answer that. There is no mental health in kitchens; that’s why they still operate and still exist. No, there’s less pan-throwing, pasta-whipping, and cutting shallots until your eyes fall out as punishment. Chefs in most places have stopped yelling and smacking butts; there is definitely less alcoholism and less drug abuse. But no one really talks about mental health, and it doesn’t matter what gender you are. You’re in the kitchen. You’re here to push, and push hard, only.
Chef Gregory: Over the years, I’ve seen a powerful transformation in how we talk about support, balance, and mental health; especially in food culture and entrepreneurship. When I first learned in the kitchen, long hours and tough expectations were just part of the job, and stress wasn’t something people openly discussed. Today, there’s a growing recognition that mental well-being matters just as much as skill and passion. People in the industry are more willing to support one another, share their challenges, and prioritize balance without stigma.
Chef Rachlow: While the conversations about mental health and burnout in the industry are a lot more common these days, the minuscule margins that most restaurants run on make it very difficult to keep staffing at a level that allows for more wiggle room in relation to sick time and PTO. As a woman, and especially as a mom, I can say with certainty that higher level management jobs are almost never able to offer the flexibility required to have any reasonable work/life balance. At this point, I really can only take a job that does allow this flexibility and luckily I have found that with my current employer.
Which all makes me wonder, are we being realistic with these mental health goals we’ve set up in our dreams or will it become an endless cycle of burnout and experiences that we dare not want to repeat? I ask the question–what does a healthier kitchen look like and how are you building that? Chef Sheldon describes it as building the opposite of what harmed her–never allowing that level of toxicity in her kitchens, encouraging healthy communication, creativity, and boundaries. Plus, the simplest thing ever – “reminding my team that cooking is supposed to be fun!” Chef DeVivo’s approach is also about culture-building, in a sense what she does at the FARM Institute, where she creates food spaces where people learn, support each other, and grow, growing herself in her largest value of all: “food is love”. She says: “I prioritize nourishment on every level, pairing community-focused cooking with workplaces where people learn, share skills, and support mental health. My culinary voice now centers on building calm food spaces where everyone grows with confidence, serves communities through rescued and local food, and sustains long-term careers through respect, balance, and shared purpose.”
Chef Shelby focuses on redefining the kitchen intensity and pressure, and rejecting the dehumanization in the industry – while figuring out a balance to do it all. Chef Tejeda rounds it out with, “we definitely have a long way to go in the sense of work/life balance and even with equality, but I think we are taking steps in the right direction to prevent eventual burnout and irreversible kitchen trauma and I am very hopeful that the decisions we make each day can make an impact in every kitchen we step into.”
As we look behind the line at the women leading the Island’s culinary scene, we see so much growth, determination, and overall tenacity that most of the ways that introduced them to this industry are changing for the better, with their incredible work ethic. Adding into that recipe a sprinkle of boundaries, mentorship, and workplaces (and leaders) that protect team members, and I see a bright and ethical future for our Island kitchens. Leading with pride and delicious foods, all these women are inspiring the way for future generations and for that, we salute them!
This article is published as a part of The Grapevine–a monthly email newsletter dedicated to our local events and culinary scene. Click here to subscribe to the Grapevine.