Tom Shelby, dog trainer to Martha’s Vineyard and New York City dogs, answers reader questions about their problematic pooches. Have a question for the Dogfather? Send it to dogsrshelby@msn.com.
Dear Dogfather,
I was wondering if you could answer a couple of questions for me? Bear with me, while I tell you my dilemma.
I look like my friends that are yellow Labs. I don’t know if I am 100 percent, though. I know I am NOT a puppy (there’s one of those that lives with me, so I know I am not one of THOSE!). I think I am in my prime.
A few weeks ago, I awoke from my evening nap and was very sore. My chest hurt, my shoulders hurt, my neck hurt, my throat hurt, even my nose hurt — I was miserable! At first I couldn’t figure why I was so sore — but then I remembered. A few hours earlier, I was at the dog park. I was running and having fun, playing with my friends and exploring. I might have even eaten some good-smelling piles or gotten into some other type of dog fun, when suddenly I hear my owner calling my name, and saying, “Come here,” “Get over here,” and “You come when I call you!” My instincts kicked into high gear. I felt like I was being chased by a growling bear. So I kept my distance from my owner and continued running away from him at the park. I don’t know what I did to make him so “bear-like.” You know me — I live in the moment.
Anyway, I was in the middle of the airstrip, heading toward a familiar lady with my owner marching behind me trying to catch up. This lady caught me by the collar and handed me to my owner when he got there. Suddenly, I was being lifted up off the ground by my collar. One minute my two front feet were off the ground, the next minute, my chest was being slammed down onto the ground. I think he did it two times, but I can’t remember, but then I do remember being picked up off the ground by my collar and having my nose slapped repeatedly and hearing, “You come when I call you!” Next thing, I was being lifted high up onto my tippy toes and made to walk down the airstrip with my owner holding my collar. The lady came with us.
So, now I know why I was so sore! But my questions are: What should I do next time I am doing “dog stuff” off leash, and suddenly my owner starts calling me to come with his “angry bear” voice? Should I just go to him figuring maybe he won’t be as mad and hurt me so much? Or should I follow my instincts and keep running away from him and take my punishment when he catches up to me? I figure the lady didn’t “save me” from this treatment ’cause maybe she was afraid of having the same thing happen to her — but what should I do? Sincerely,
In Sore Straits
P.S. This was not written by the lady who came with me; it was written by a fellow dog park walker who witnessed it from a ways off.
Dear Dog Park Walker and Sore Straits Dog,
To my readers, this column is in response to a letter sent to me that was narrated by a dog. The witness to the harsh treatment of a dog at a dog park wrote me about it from the perspective of the dog, with Rover waking up the next morning, sore, hurting all over, and confused as to what he did wrong and what he needs to do to avoid more punishment. Great letter written by the dog, a letter which clearly displayed the ghostwriter’s empathy and understanding of how and how not to extract cooperation and trust from your dog.
Sore Dog’s owner was observed calling Sore Dog and yelling, getting madder and madder when Sore Dog didn’t come. When Sore Dog went to the owner’s friend whom he knew, she held him for the owner. Then the owner lifted him off the ground by the collar and slammed him back down, and then slapped him in the face a bunch of times, and duck-walked him back to the car (holding the collar, forcing him to walk on two legs).
When I was young, stupid, and immortal, I would have confronted the guy. Bad idea. Could result in displacement aggression. Guy takes out his frustration and anger on you. Some dogs have displacement aggression. Your dog sees a deer out of your bay window, and in frustration at not being able to get to it, bites a hole in the couch next to him. That’s canine displacement aggression. The “do-er” who felt obligated to do something about the abuse might be better served by taking a phone video and filing a complaint. Best solution. Somehow, educate the guy. Stress common sense. Ask the guy, “If you got punished a lot and didn’t know why, would you happily come running when the punisher called you?” Picture the wife of a wifebeater. She’s walking on eggshells trying to avoid doing something that will enrage the husband. That’s how the dog feels. He doesn’t know when you’re going to turn on him, because your harshness, and especially your timing, is all wrong.
Dogs live in the moment. If you punish your dog after he comes for taking too long to come, he will quickly learn it doesn’t pay to come. Come home and find your couch pillow in tatters and shove the pillow in his face as you yell at him, “What did you do?!” Sure he will act guilty. But not because he chewed the pillow six hours ago. Because he clearly knows you’re pissed off, and he’s just trying to assuage your anger, to appease you to stop the yelling. Do that a few times, and your dog will expect to be punished when you come home, and start nervously chewing something in anticipation of your arrival and his punishment. This is the kind of stuff that can add to or create a dog’s separation-anxiety problem.
If the owner of the dog who’s in sore straits would like to meet me at Trade Wind, I’d be happy to show him a dog on a dead run away from me flip in air and come charging back to me with a smile on her face when called. Every time. The key for that owner? Education.
If anyone would like to see it again, write in asking how to get a reliable recall, and I’ll be happy to detail the steps.
Thanks for your concern, Dogfather fan.
The Dogfather
