To the Editor:
So once in a while it happens. Once in a while someone crosses a line that they had no idea existed and they feel their boot being sucked into a giant puddle of mud. So we see this in the Cow Bay dog drama. And kudos to Nelson Sigelman for writing what I believe is the finest article ever written by The Times (July 30, “Gone Fishin’: Has Martha’s Vineyard gone to the dogs?”). Clark Kent finds his inner Hedda Hopper to battle the Evil Villain C. Dean Metroupoulos and save Bovine Bay from utter ruin! Priceless, just utterly fantastic. Don’t mess with an Islander’s fishing. You can come here and be annoying and spend tons of money, but never forget you are a guest or that your visiting privileges can be revoked. In addition, don’t bring animals into the mire, because we don’t like you teaching your attack dogs bad manners or forcing them to be mean and snarly.
However, we should grant them some slack. Billionaires are different, and Cow Bay is a swath of such fabulous wealth that even the Douglas boys are rumored to be in awe when they sail by the platinum enclave. And it is nice. I have a friend who owns two houses there, and yes he is rich to the point of some delusion, but he is a real kick in the pants as well. He lounges daily in his beach cabana “office,” where he does deals requiring millions of dollars flowing from bank to bank, and converses with his men’s support group members, which include Kenneth Cole and a few senators and such, via his iPhone. I love him. You could not write this character if you tried. He is utterly fabulous, and commands a 50-foot circle around him wherever he goes. And let me say he is generous to a fault if anyone ever was.
His movie star–looking sons worked for me once, and they really don’t understand that that they are not subject to the rules of common folk. They have been reared upon a walkway of hundred-dollar bills, and it isn’t their fault. They are very smart and nice kids, but just don’t understand the reality the rest of us live in. They do try, though. And I really like the family because they are good people; just stupid rich to the point that it threatens to tear the fabric of reality.
And the Cow Bay residents actually argue amongst themselves. If I remember correctly, the Metropoulos clan is considered “over the top” even by Cow Bay standards (and those standards are high when you consider that their association meetings have budget votes that go into the millions of dollars for sand import, dredging and the like — not your everyday association voting for a new shrub at the front gate).
I remember a conflict where the renovations to the Metroupolos compound required the strengthening of a bridge or something, because I assume Zimbabwe granite and Jerusalem marble are very heavy. So the story goes. But can you imagine if the dogs were released upon an unsuspecting group as they meandered around the shore, like the Wicked Witch of the West releasing her flying monkeys upon Dorothy and Toto? Can’t you see C. Dean Metropoulos pointing a bony pale finger and screaming, “Bring me those Midnight Farm Slippers!” Classic and utterly priceless images I will forever cherish. Thank you, Nelson, for stepping up. You really showed some great journalistic talent, and seized a moment that pierced all of us locals in the heart and defined an invisible line of self-respect that no one should ever cross.
In conclusion, rich is good. We all know it, and would like some of it for ourselves if we are honest. But as long as we live on the other side of the low-water mark we will maintain some levels of dignity, and demand a basic level of respect that is not for sale to anyone at any price.
Sigelman’s article is one giant local “Whoop there it is!”
Mark Martin
Vineyard Haven