Fast ferry makes token voyage

The High Line, a new fast ferry that hovers over the Sound, makes its way toward Vineyard Haven Monday delivering commuters and cannabis.

There was a buzz in Vineyard Haven Monday as the first High Line fast ferry sped into port and unloaded a boat filled with commuters and cannabis.

The new service, which was kept under wraps like a roach clip hidden in the center console of a VW bus, provides 10-minute service from Woods Hole to Vineyard Haven. The new fast ferry is a hovercraft, and because it floats above the federal waters of Vineyard Sound, it can be used to transport marijuana to the Island without violating federal laws.

“We call it killing two birds with one stoner — err, stone,” Tommy Chong, the fast ferry captain told The Times in an interview that kept getting interrupted by him looking for a snack.

Meanwhile, the Steamship Authority is hiring a consultant to see if it can somehow send the competing fast ferry to Senesco Marine for the “MV Martha’s Vineyard” special.

The High Line ferry service was paid for with a grant from 1969. It was commissioned on 4/20 of 2018.

(Did you think we were serious?)


  1. I was on that boat this morning. Someone left a double album cover of The Allman Bros “Eat a Peach”. When I picked it up, a load of stems and seeds fell out of the middle.

  2. Great job, “Mary J. Wanna”!! Good spoof. Many of us wish most if not all of this were true, I think. Puts me in mind of the infamous Plover Issue on April 1, back in the day of G. Kelly, which, sadly, was not taken well by some, but we sure enjoyed putting it out!

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