Four is the magic number

Christine Ferrone instructs Tate Fairchild-Coppoletti that shorter is better. — Courtesy MVRHS

This past week, the Martha’s Vineyard Regional High School (MVRHS) English department released a statement declaring four-word sentences to be the best form of writing for essays and stories.

“Adjectives and adverbs are generally overused,” said English department chair Christine Ferrone. “We’d like students to prioritize nouns and verbs.”

Some students are protesting the new requirements by turning in essays with sentences longer than four words. One essay even took the form of a single, 600-word sentence.

Despite this, the teachers are holding firm. Ms. Ferrone said, “In a world increasingly defined by aesthetics of excess, we’re pushing back the only way we know how. Four-word sentences, not only on the page, but in life.”

An April Fool’s Day story from MVRHS.



  1. This is quite good
    We could hire Trump.
    He could teach English
    Four words his limit.
    And three syllable words
    Only twelve syllable sentences
    For really dumb ideas
    “Make America great again”.
    Four words ,8 syllables.

    “There was no collusion”
    Four words,six syllables.

    “It’s just a flu”.
    Four words, four syllables. !!!!!

    He on to something.

    “America” of course, is an exception to the 3 syllable rule since “Obama wasn’t born here”.

    Happy April fools day 🙂

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