West Tisbury: Debby could do anything

My friend Debby Athearn died on Feb. 11. She was at home with her family by her bedside, much as any of us would wish when our time comes.

Sunday couldn’t have been a prettier midwinter day for us to gather at Lambert’s Cove Cemetery in her honor. Reverend Baker led the service. Debby’s ukulele bandmates played two songs. Brian and his sons spoke briefly. Everyone was invited to lay a white rose around the top edge of her burial plot. That thick circle of roses, like a creamy necklace, formed a simple decoration she would have loved.

I remember the year Debby decided to plant rosebushes along her driveway. It was a perfect spot, backed by a stone wall that would warm the soil. She found new varieties that had been bred by someone in Minnesota especially for vigor and cold-hardiness. They made a brilliant display, lots of red, the color of energy, a color I always associate with Debby.

Debby could do anything, and if she didn’t know how to do something, she made it her business to learn and to excel at it. I met her when she was helping Bill Haynes put in the plumbing when Mike and I built our house. Then she put up some wallpaper for us, her first “professional” job hanging wallpaper, although she had mastered her skill many times over in her own house.

We judged art together at the Ag Fair for many summers. We loved our dogs, our husbands, our gardens, lots of mutual friends, new recipes, new ideas. Debby always made me feel energized and embracing of life. I tend to be rather hidebound, so Debby’s influence was a gift I will treasure forever. She loved games, any kind of games, even getting into computer games she tried to get me to play online with her. Sending games and e-cards kept us together through COVID.

I just scrolled through her last Facebook postings. So much to make me laugh, as she always did. The photograph accompanying Debby’s obituary was just right. It made me hear her laughter as though we were sitting side by side in her sunny kitchen.

Most of all, Debby loved Harry. There was plenty of laughter there, shared adventures, vigorous disagreements, a marriage of many years. Her son, Brian, inherited her boundless energy, curiosity, and enthusiasm. She admired her daughter-in-law, Kate, and adored her grandsons, Hunter and Emmett, her nieces, Dee and Amanda, her brother, Norman, and his wife, Kathy. They were the center of everything.

I looked across the cemetery at so many people I have known my whole life in West Tisbury. We are all graying, showing smile lines and wrinkles, growing older together. We will have to face our losses, as they will surely come.

There will be another get-together in warmer weather when we can shed our coats and comfortably stay outside, to tell stories and share memories, to laugh and to cry.