When I had my third TIA recently, which came out of nowhere as I arrived back home from Home Depot, I remember thinking, as my right arm and leg were getting numb and limp, “Is this IT?” In this context, of course, “IT” means death, and if the cause of death is a heart problem or stroke, IT can happen in a moment, from out of nowhere. So any day, every day, might be the last day of your life. For people with other illnesses, from cancer to Parkinson’s to Alzheimer’s, death’s inevitable approach is more plainly visible ahead of time, and the path to death may be preceded by a more gradual descent into infirmity. The point is that while death is inevitable, there are many paths to it. While we may not know the path, we all need to be prepared, and to make sure there is someone there who can make decisions for us when we are not up to it.
Here are the basics:
- Talk to your health care proxy agent about how you want to be treated if you are not well. Are you OK being in a hospital or nursing home, or would you rather be at home. It may be medically “safer” to be in a facility, but would you rather take the risk in order to remain at home? If you are at home but cannot communicate your wishes, how do you want to be treated? Do you want to be outside a lot, or would you rather be watching the Red Sox? Do you want company, or would you rather just be by yourself?
- Talk to your Power of Attorney agent about how you want your finances managed. Maybe you want to help your kids out by giving away your money, your house, or other things before you die so your estate will not have to go through the probate process. Maybe there are particular items you actually want to give to particular people. Make the gift now and give them the chance to say “Thank You” while you’re alive.
- Consider revising your MOLST (Medical Orders for Life Sustaining Treatment) form. Would you want EMTs to revive you? If you have a medical problem at home, do you want to go to the hospital again?
These are all difficult decisions, but they are yours to make, but you need to make them while you are competent, before the emergency arises. If you want to learn more about these issues, you can watch this month’s episode of Elder Law 101. You can find it on MVTV (Comcast 13) or visit Frank and Mary’s YouTube channel, www.youtube.com/elderlawfrankandmary. If you have any questions, please contact me at 508-860-1470 or abergeron@mirickoconnell.com.
Arthur P. Bergeron is an elder law attorney in the trusts and estates group at Mirick O’Connell.
