A 93-year-old grandmother taking justice into her own hands?
Now showing at the M.V. Film Center, “Thelma” has gotten rave reviews, and is drawing large audiences. Enthusiastic reviewers compare it to “Mission: Impossible,” describing it as a madcap comedy and action-packed journey.
I’m enthusiastic, too, but I see the movie also as a tender story about a powerful, intergenerational bond, and an examination of our expectations of life after 90, indeed life at any point when we’re considered old. “Thelma” made me laugh, cringe with concern, and welled up with tears.
In many ways, the movie affirms expectations about aging; in other ways it upends them. Thelma walks with a stiff gait, and can’t get up by herself after tripping in a dark, empty field. She’s confused about how to navigate email and do online banking. Duped by a con artist, she is scammed out of $10,000. We see ageist expectations shape how others see Thelma — the small daily humiliations, the condescension and infantilization. One reviewer described the film as a “codger comedy.” These are the mental maps of how we expect older adults to behave.
But Thelma helps us redraw those maps. Refusing to be the stereotypical “little old lady,” she’s fiercely individualistic, and no one’s victim — more angry than bewildered. She has a strong mutual relationship with her 24-year-old grandson, whom she never infantilizes. She has the tenacity and savvy to track down the con artist, teach him a lesson, and (spoiler alert!) get her money back.
Thelma is nimble enough to retrieve a loaded gun stored on top of ceiling-high furniture. She is a technology whiz with her cell phone, connecting hearing aids to function as walkie-talkies. And she isn’t afraid to learn how to use the computer.
She has confidence to persuade a reluctant friend to join her adventure — and he defies age stereotypes, too. As Abby Remer’s film review in The MV Times (“‘Thelma’: A whodunit with an aging sleuth,” June 20) points out, the two have chutzpah, indomitable spirits, and cleverly ad-lib solutions to their physical limitations.
Like all stereotypes, beliefs about aging are grounded in reality. Nevertheless, like other “isms,” they become the lens through which we see all older adults, even our future selves. These doubts and insecurities aren’t laughing matters, as Yale Professor Becca Levy’s research demonstrates: Negative beliefs about aging can lead to shorter lives, and actually make many health problems worse.
Watching “Thelma” is more than an enjoyable evening at the movies. It made me make an appointment to get my hearing checked. It made me hug my grandchildren, and take steps to live a more intentionally intergenerational life.
And it made me think about how we can escape the ageism that traps how we see others and ourselves. Far beyond the “Mission: Impossible” adventure the film takes us on, “Thelma” helps us see all that is still possible to accomplish for a 93-year-old, and that’s a mission worth embracing for all our future selves.
Phyllis Segal is a member of the board of directors at Healthy Aging Martha’s Vineyard.
To learn about how our beliefs about aging determine how long and well we live read Becca Levy’s “Breaking the Age Code.” She makes a powerful case why this is so important.
Phyllis, what a wonderful review of a wonderful movie. Thank you. What I loved about the movie was the 93 year old heroine’s ongoing interest in exploring her world after her husband’s death. Her very real relationship with her grandson, her discovery of sushi, her ability to build a relationship with Ben, her constant exploration of the world of technology, and, of course, her unyielding determination to get her money back shows us what 93 can be. Sadly, it also shows us the other side of aging, in the form of her declining friend Mona and Ben’s retirement home colleagues. May we all be as gutsy and capable as Thelma at 93! She is my role model.
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