For anyone who has or knows anyone who has wrestled with suicide or died from it, all can seem pretty dark. Seven years ago, a group of concerned Islanders organized a yearly walk to offer hope and healing. The goal is to break the stigma by publicly addressing this important issue.
The seventh Annual Darkness into Vineyard Light Suicide Prevention and Awareness Walk will occur on Sunday, Sept. 22. People will gather in the dark at 5 am at Bend in the Road Beach on State Beach in Edgartown and walk until after daybreak to symbolize coming out of darkness and into the light.
The organization’s website states: “We hope that individuals who are struggling with thoughts of suicide will see that there is hope and support available. It is also an opportunity to educate the loved ones of those in crisis on how they can help and what services are available.”
Board member Jim Wallen became involved in the organization because of his son, Nicholas, who passed away at the age of 34 from suicide in April 2021. “I was a speaker at the walk. It is a very moving event. There were a lot of people with the common bond of going through what I went through or themselves attempting suicide. And there were other people for whom this was not part of their experience, but they were sharing it.
You are going from darkness into an eastern sunrise.”
Wallen spoke about Nicholas, who was born on the Vineyard and lived in the Virgin Islands, the Bahamas, and Rome before returning for his last two years at the Martha’s Vineyard Regional High School.
Wallen describes his son as adventurous, empathetic, and with a keen sense of integrity. His passion was golf, and he was on the Bahamas junior national team and went to tournaments in Florida and the Caribbean. When Nicholas lived here, he was the high school golf team captain.
He was diagnosed with OCD, and Wallen explains how his erratic behavior progressed over time. “Nicholas was a very good student in sixth and seventh grade, getting the award as the best student in the school. Then, in Rome, he just couldn’t write a paper.
But he was in the top 10 of his class at the high school. He was very up and down about how his academics went.”
Things were exacerbated by his on-and-off issues with alcohol. “I didn’t realize they were as serious as they were until it was too late.”
Nicholas went off to Brandeis University for college. “He wasn’t honest with us. After being on the dean’s list his first year, he flunked out. But he wasn’t saying he was having trouble academically until he got a letter saying not to come back. There were plenty of times when you would ask him, ‘Where have you been? What have you been doing?’ and you didn’t really get a straight answer, which I think is common among alcohol-addicted people. It was really hard. I was at a loss.”
Wallen notes that Nicholas was in and out of ERs and alcohol rehabs. “He had a lot of unhappiness. And he was very resistant to group and talk therapy.” The last time he was in rehab, Nicholas started drinking again and was asked to leave. Wallen shares, “Then he went off and decided to go a different route.”
Asked what signs to look for, Wallen says, “First of all, when you know someone is lying to you all the time or often, that’s bad. Another one is ideation. If someone talks aboutsuicide or even remotely hints at how they’re going to do it, they’re serious.”
He continues, “I think people have to seek professional help. It was hard finding that, but I think it’s improving. Raising public awareness is really important, and that’s what we do at Darkness into Vineyard Light.”
The event originated after John Murray, co-founder of Darkness into Vineyard Light, attended one such walk in Ireland, where he was born and raised. Returning to the Island, he brought it to people at Community Services, who put him in touch with Maria Ventura, and together they started the group. “The first year,” Murray says, “we weren’t expecting too many people to show up. We thought maybe 10. We were shocked at the amount of people who did. There were somewhere between 60 to 70, and we thought we might be onto something here.”
With each successful year, it’s clear that, indeed, they are.
The seventh Annual Darkness into Vineyard Light Suicide Prevention and Awareness Walk will occur on Sunday, Sept. 22, from 5 to 7 am at Bend in the Road Beach. Parking will be in the Edgartown Park & Ride parking lot (12 Dark Woods Road) with shuttles to Beach Road. To register, visit runsignup.com/Race/MA/Edgartown/6thAnnualDVLWalk. To volunteer, visit runsignup.com/Race/Volunteer/MA/Edgartown/6thAnnualDVLWalk.
