Woodside Story: Advice for oldsters

Let your smarty-pants kids help you.

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I don’t know if most of the elderly around me are as spacy as I. I’m spacy AF, but I need to add that I’ve always been that way, so it may not be a sign of dementia. Maybe a little dementia. But not a bunch.

But when my son and daughter-in-law touched down for a visit: They’ve still got working brains — no worms eating their frontal lobes, thank you very much, RFK Jr.! And they came with a specific task in mind: They told me they intended to organize my kitchen.

You see, son Charlie noticed on earlier visits that I’d simply crammed things in the cabinets without paying attention to logical placement, such as, Did all these rolls of paper towels belong with peanut butter and sugar cubes? Now, I admit there was no rhyme or reason for the chance visitor to figure anything out, but this elderly space cadet remembered where she put things, and wasn’t this kind of brain Dilemma Land, like keeping a crossword puzzle going, a chore recommended to help cerebral cylinders roll?

When I asked them why they felt directed to do this, my daughter-in-law Cary replied, ”We want to make sure you have ample counter space and better organized cabinets so you can prepare meals and entertain guests. We’ll help you to donate all of the items you don’t need and move lesser-used items up and out of the way.”

And I want to add that my kiddos and I did fun stuff too, such as viewing August fireworks from an Ocean Park tower belonging to dear old friends! Charlie and Cary attended the famous fair (I stayed home to read a Lawrence Block mystery). And one Sunday night I treated us to dinner at the Vineyard Haven ristorante Salvatore’s. Then on Monday morning the sheist hit the fan when my guests stood in my kitchen and put things in their proper places, including expired dishes that got dumped in the trash.

They sought my advice for certain objects: “Did you ever use this rusty old cheese grater?” But they mostly took things in their own stride, and after a couple of hours, showed me the results. The counters were splendidly cleared. For the past two years I’d kept my saucers, kettle, and big metal soup pot on the stovetop. A single burner needed to be cleared to produce an omelet. So now all the cooking utensils are filed away in a cabinet at floor level. Where I used to keep, hmm, let’s see, dog food and stacks of plastic plates. I don’t even like plastic plates. Or believe in them. But a dear friend gave me a set of gorgeous china from Japan. It’s delicate and beautifully decorated with a gold leaf motif, but, merde! It can’t go in the microwave. It could conceivably settle in a dishwasher, but hey! Merde again! I don’t have a dishwasher, so these can be washed and dried alongside the sink. Ergo, throw out the plastic dishes? Not yet.

Meanwhile Charlie and Cary tossed a bunch of stuff. Either that or hid it away under the bed, or in that closet, blocked by a cute dresser painted with animals they insisted on moving from the living room to alongside the bed, which up until that time had a ramshackle “dresser” made out of a crummy old wheely cart with a banged-up suitcase stretched over the top to support books and a lamp. These kiddos wasted no time in argument. They got rid of the cart thing, and moved the cute dresser. And as I said, this blocked access to the closet. One of these days I’ll see what’s sealed up inside. Tutankhamun?

And here let me add the reason for this effort by my comedy son Charlie: “We wanted to help you reclaim your kitchen from its current state as a kitchen/pantry/storage unit /bookstore/music parlor. Your prior space resembled a skateboarding park more than a kitchen!” So do I scrap my skateboard? I’ll have to wait for my kids’ next visit to find out.

 

1 COMMENT

  1. Great read! Often we need someone to purge,help us organize. No worries,you do not have any brain issues. Maybe a horder.(LOL) Great clear start for your future.Thanks to the visiting kids!

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