To the Editor:
Barbara Murphy and I met in the fall of 1976, when I began teaching at Martha’s Vineyard Regional High School and she was completing her first year teaching there. I was teaching social studies and for Barbara, it was Spanish. We quickly became fast friends, and for all these years remained so.
We had so much laughter and fun as co-teachers, and we loved our high school kids. We were very serious about what we taught, and we had so much fun teaching it. We were also advisors for a class or two, and created a mudslide at one of our class events, where Barbara sprained her ankle. (We were so glad that it was one of us and not the students.) We laughed and carried on enjoying our classes for many, many years. Almost every Friday, after the school day was over, we would gather with colleagues at the old Ocean View Restaurant, letting off steam and enjoying each other no matter which department any of us were from. Great fun and a wonderful way to build school community beyond the classroom.
About two years ago, Barbara started to show signs of dementia. I had never experienced this illness in my family nor in my friends, so I did not have a clue on how to help Barbara. I had no idea how mean an illness it can be. For months, Barbara still communicated as we did different projects together, usually paint-by-number creations. But then, things seemed to move rather quickly and yet, not quick enough. For a while, Barbara was babbling, talking about nothing but still somewhat present. Then things went downhill fast, and soon she just looked panicked, afraid, or fearful when I would meet with her. Things were changing, and I knew that the Barbara I knew and loved and had had so much fun with was no longer there. She had left me, and yet I could not mourn her, because her body was still here. Chris, her husband, did yeoman’s work because he loved her so much. And so I tried to help him out once a week. Seeing Barbara in this debilitating state was overwhelming. I hoped and prayed that she would pass soon, because she was no longer Barbara Murphy, my friend.
Barbara died on my birthday this past week. I was relieved and grateful that she no longer lingered with this miserable disease. Later, on that same day, I was out in our backyard playing with my dog, and a dove flew onto the nearby tree … and I smiled.
Marge Harris
Oak Bluffs
Thank you Mrs. Harris – they just don’t make teachers like you and Barb anymore ( no offense but life was different then) our class trip to Spain will always be one of my favorite stories to tell. Barbara was taken way to soon but as you say it wasn’t her at the end. Rest easy Señora Murphy, prayers to the Murphy Family.
Wonderful memories of Mrs. Murphy and Mrs. Harris, two of the people who had an immense impact on my teenage years and my eventual career path. Thank you so much for this letter Marge Harris. I am smiling now just picturing her on the mudslide. She was always up for or up to something. I loved that about her. I agree with Amy Billings; the trip to Spain was a highlight of my high school years thanks to Barbara and Chris Murphy.
Rest in peace fine lady. You will be missed. Condolences to all her family and friends
Beautiful words, Marge, as usual from you. I well remember the first time I met you, at the Superintendent’s office in Edgartown where I was working, and where you came to inquire about a job. And Barbara Murphy, what a gem she was, she and her husband, “co-parenting” with me a young lady who has grown up on the Island and who is a beautiful person thanks to the Murphys’ tender care and concern. Yes, she is gone way too soon, but as is often said, may her memory be a blessing for us all.
Thank you so much for this Mrs. Harris. I’m am in tears reading. I agree with Amy. We were so lucky to of had Mrs Murphy as well as Mrs Harris. These are different times.
This was a beautiful story about so many dimensions of love. Thank you for sharing it so personally.
Thank you, Mrs. Harris (“Marge”, although it never feels quite right calling you by your first name…even now, after all these years post high school). I’m so sorry for your loss, Mrs. Harris; I know what a dear friend and colleague Mrs. Murphy has been to you over the years. “Growing up sucks” doesn’t it?! It’s what I find myself saying more and more these days when it involves the loss of beloved friends and family.
Mrs. Murphy was my Spanish teacher from 9th – 11th grade, and I adored her. My trip to Portugal and Spain, when I was a sophomore in high school, changed my life. I always credit that experience “on her watch” as a significant game changer for me, which ultimately shaped my future and inspired my college choice/journey as a Spanish major in the School of Languages & Linguistics at Georgetown University. Mrs. Murphy was one of my favorite teachers at MVRHS.
And, of course, you were one of the BEST and most beloved teachers I was privileged to have throughout my 3 years at the high school, Mrs. Harris. How lucky am I, as well as the other alums who have commented here, to have had such extraordinary women, role models and teachers/mentors like you and Mrs. Murphy?
Godspeed to Mrs. Murphy and much love to her family. She will never be forgotten.
I met Barbara at a “Noche de hablar” at the old Wintertide in the spring of 1997 where island Spanish-speakers gathered for a good old-fashioned potluck. At 22 I was at a crossroads, having recently graduated university after majoring in Spanish and Latin American studies and spending a winter backpacking around South America. I can say without a doubt, it was Barbara’s words of encouragement then and for the many years thereafter, that I became the Spanish teacher I am today. Though I was never Barbara’s student, she was a mentor for me. I will be forever grateful for her support and enthusiasm for Spanish and her love of teaching it.
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