Last week, my husband and I went to a one-man show at Circus Arts at the Grange. These days we have become almost hermit-like, but I received five different emails and texts from people, and all five messages said the same thing: Do not miss this performance.
And boy, am I grateful that I did not miss that performance. Written by Lisa Peterson and Denis O’Hare, and magnificently and mindblowingly performed by Lagan Love, it was so stunningly powerful and brilliant that after two weeks, my husband and I still can’t stop talking about it.
The story is a kind of modern-day “Iliad.”
Halfway through Love’s incredible work, after going back and forth from the history of the Trojan War to the modern-day version of the retelling of the story of Achilles and Helen of Troy, and all the blood and gore in between, there is a scene that still sends chills up and down my arms: Love lists all the wars from the beginning of time.
A few days after the play, when we still couldn’t shake the impact of that list, I called Love.
After bowing to his brilliance, I asked him if I could use the list in a piece I wanted to write about … about … well, truth be told, I didn’t know what it would be about. But I knew I had to write something.
So now I want you to imagine that you’re sitting in a darkened theater (in the most comfortable seats –– if you’re lucky, you get a couch, but it turns out all the seats are exceptionally comfortable), and you’ve just seen the insanity of a 10-year war over a beautiful woman (and by the way, that’s a whole other can of boneless invertebrates), and you’ve seen the best direction ever by Katherine Reid, when suddenly the actor is center stage, arms akimbo, staring out at us, and he recites the following:
“The Conquest of Sumer, the Conquest of Sargon, the Persian War, Peloponnesian War, War of Alexander the Great, Punic War, Gallic War, Caesar’s invasion of Britain, Great Jewish Revolt, Yellow Turban Rebellion, War against the Moors in North Africa, Roman–Persian War, Fall of Rome, Byzantine–Arab War, Muslim Conquest of Egypt, First Siege of Constantinople, Zanj Rebellion in southern Iraq, Croatian–Bulgarian War, Viking Civil War, Norman Conquest of England …”
And now imagine him shaking and trembling. He looks as if a dybbuk has entered his body, and his hands are clenching and unclenching, which made me clench and unclench my hands. As he continues:
“First Crusade, Second Crusade, Third Crusade, Fourth Crusade; Children’s Crusade; Fifth, Sixth, Seventh, Eighth, Ninth Crusade; Norman invasion of Ireland; Mongol invasion of China; Mongol invasion of Russia; Mongol invasion of Afghanistan; Mongol invasion of Vietnam; the Hundred Years’ War; Chinese Domination of Vietnam; Polish–Lithuanian–Teutonic War; Hunger War; Fall of Constantinople; Wars of the Roses; War of the Priests; Muscovite–Lithuanian Wars; the Spanish Conquest of Mexico; the Mughal Conquest of India; War of the Two Brothers; the Spanish Conquest of Peru; Thirty Years’ War; Pequot War; First, Second, and Third English Civil Wars; Cromwell’s conquest of Ireland; Cromwell’s conquest of Scotland; the 335 Years’ War; French and Indian Wars; Second Cherokee War; American Revolution; French Revolution; Haitian Revolution; the Napoleonic Wars; the Bolivian War of Independence; Argentine War of Independence; Mexican War of Independence; Venezuelan War of Independence; War of 1812; Colombian, Chilean, Peruvian, and Ecuadorian wars of independence; Lower Canada Rebellion; Upper Canada Rebellion; Second Seminole War; Mormon War; Pastry War; Honey War; First Anglo–Afghan War; First Opium War; Crimean War; The Land Wars; American Civil War; Sioux Wars; Second Anglo–Afghan War; the Boer Wars; Cuban War of Independence; Spanish–American War; Mexican Revolution; World War I; Russian Revolution; Third Anglo–Afghan War; Irish War of Independence; Afghan Civil War; Japanese Invasion of Manchuria; Saudi–Yemeni War; Spanish Civil War; World War II; Palestine Civil War; Arab-Israeli War; Cold War; Korean War; Cuban Revolution; Tibetan Rebellion; Vietnam; Bay of Pigs; Sand War; Six-Day War; Laos; Cambodia; the Troubles; Prague Spring; Nicaraguan Revolution; Salvadoran Civil War; Soviet Invasion of Afghanistan; Contra War in Nicaragua; Second Sudanese Civil War; Iran–Iraq War; Falklands War; Israeli invasion of Lebanon; U.S. invasion of Grenada; U.S. invasion of Panama; First Intifada; Afghan Civil War; Rwandan Civil War; Bosnia and Herzegovina; Chechnya; Afghanistan; Kosovo; Iraq; Rwanda; Darfur; Iraq; Haiti; Pakistan; Lebanon; Kenya; Zimbabwe; Congo; Gaza; Somalia; Georgia; Iraq Pakistan; Afghanistan; Libya; Syria; Ukraine; Gaza.”
When he finished, spent and almost comatose, I don’t think there was a dry eye in the house.
I had heard of a handful of those wars. And they just added Ukraine and Gaza.
So now my question, and I guess that’s why I am writing this, is: What is it with men and war?
When I asked my husband, who was in the middle of reading his precious New Yorker, he looked up and said, “Well, if you think you’re going to be attacked, you have to be on alert. All the time. And you better have weapons. So you better be prepared.”
“Right,” I said, “But why are we always preparing for war and never for peace? Why do we always think we’re going to be attacked?” He said, “Men want more. More land, more power, more money, more, more, more.” He said, “What do you think it is?”
I said, “It’s chemical. It’s testosterone. You would know there’s enough for everyone if you didn’t have such a hunger for power. If you had more of a hunger for love. Which people do, but they don’t recognize it as a hunger for love. Besides,” I said, “the whole survival-of-the-fittest thing pisses me off.”
“Why?” he asked. “If you weren’t fit, you wouldn’t survive.”
I said, “But if you knew there’d be a whole community of support for you, then you wouldn’t feel defensive. You’d know you were safe. And then of course you’d survive.”
“It’s a Catch-22,” he said.
“Well, I have the solution,” I said. “Saltpeter in the water. Or better still, MDMA.”
My husband knows better than to continue once I’m onto something. So he picked up his magazine to continue reading about Amelia Earhart.
And me, dear reader? What do you think?
