To the Editor:
My wife and I have been coming to the Vineyard every summer for 20 years. We love our summers on the Vineyard. I even love driving on the Vineyard in the summer. It’s true, there are a lot of cars on the road, and sometimes you’re sitting in a long line of cars rolling slowly forward every few seconds, but the cars and the long lines of cars don’t bother me, because something happens in those lines that I love to see: Most cars in line allow other cars to come into the line from where they’re waiting, letting them slide in in front of them, even sometimes backing up a few feet to make room for them. The driver sitting in the line will flick their headlights or wave their hand to signal the other driver that they’re welcome to come in, and the other driver will flick their lights back or wave or nod or smile to thank them.
It’s really beautiful to see — people taking care of each other like that, people being kind to each other. Whenever I see it — and whenever I’m the recipient of it — I always think, “I bet this is what it’s like in Heaven — people being good to each other all the time, people making things easier for each other.” It’s like this everywhere you drive on the Vineyard in the summer, it’s the Island culture: People welcoming other people in — to the long lines, at intersections and crossroads, around rotaries, at pedestrian and bike crossings — out of the goodness of their hearts, people are helping each other. One of the best places to see this in action is at the Edgartown Triangle; it’s like a love fest in there.
I myself let people in a lot. It gives me a good feeling about myself. And I get another good feeling about myself when the people I’ve let in, with a flick of their lights or a wave of their hand or a nod or a smile, say, “Thank you.” I nod back, “You’re welcome.” It’s a heartwarming connection with that person in that moment. I love seeing it, and I love doing it, and I love being thanked for doing it. All I need to pay attention to now is what I mutter under my breath when I let someone in and they don’t thank me.
Gotta work on that.
Bob Alter
Edgartown
I share your sentiments exactly! I’m happy to give someone a turn to be let into a traffic line. A nod or wave of appreciation is the friendly reward. But like you, I sometimes feel a little cheated when my kindness is not acknowledged. After all, I’m holding up the driver behind me. We don’t do good deeds with the expectation of payback but I can’t help but feel that lack of appreciation comes mostly from those who feel entitled to cut in line.
Manners are important on this island and our visitors are expected to adhere to them. We also don’t our garbage out the window or push in line at the coffee shop or ice cream shop.
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