In a canopy of trees, the branches often make space for one another, letting in sunlight and allowing new growth. Leaves and limbs make way for slight gaps in the blue skylines of spring and summer. In the off-season, Islanders are left with memories of the greenery, the structure of the forest, and if they’re lucky, some downtime. But the effort of making space for one another is not an act reserved only for a forest.
This winter has been rife with loss. Too many individuals who were loved by the community passed away this month. The burden of grief on families and friends has been felt deeply across the towns, in Post Office and grocery store lines, and even lingers heavily in the air, and it can be hard to imagine shouldering the weight of it alone.
While there’s no way to bypass the necessary process of grief, neuroscience proves it can be helpful to work through it together. Everyone moves through difficult feelings in their own way. There’s no one avenue of healing that’s above all others. But for those looking for extra support, there are ways to find it.
According to medical journals, such as the recently published “The Nature of Grief: Implications for the Neurobiology of Emotion,” from Neuroscience of Consciousness, grief impacts multiple areas of the brain. Activity increases in some parts, like the amygdala, an area responsible for emotional processing, and decreases in others, such as the hippocampus, which is involved in memory processing. The impact of grief can exacerbate existing mental health conditions as well.
Apparently, the brain experiences grief as a difficult learning process. There are measured hormonal and cognitive changes that are unavoidable, such as spikes in cortisol, the stress hormone. But experts say some of the process can be eased by certain practices. Community outreach, therapy, and physical movement can all have a measured, positive effect on collective grief.
On the Island, there are spaces for healing, from places to come together to offerings for professional help. We want to strongly encourage Islanders, even those who have never had mental health counseling, to reach out for help if they need it. We are fortunate on this Island to have services, and we implore people to use them.
For clinical support, Martha’s Vineyard Community Services offers counseling, crisis intervention, and support groups. The Red House offers individual and family resources for substance-use disorders, and Alcoholics and Narcotics Anonymous hold daily meetings. The Martha’s Vineyard Hospital and Island Health Care have psychiatrists and mental health professionals on their staff, and there’s a network of private therapists and psychiatrists on the Island.
The habitual aspects of our communal lives propel us forward through hard times, even more than we realize. Familiar bands like Mike Benjamin and the Keepers and Johnny Hoy and the Bluefish play weekly at the Ritz; there are comfort meals at local favorite restaurants, like a mashed potato pizza at Offshore Ale, or the Old Faithful breakfast platter for brunch at ArtCliff Diner; even a regular coffee at the shop of our choosing can move us from despair to connection.
There are events that take us out of our routine as well, such as the winter residency of Pathways Arts at the Chilmark Tavern, which features new performances from local artists and musicians. Stillpoint in West Tisbury offers yoga classes, educational discussions, and even group “naptime.” Slough Farm holds cooking classes and writing workshops. Featherstone has classes at its campus in Oak Bluffs, like pottery and fiber arts. There are Mah Jongg, cribbage, knitting groups, queer book clubs, jam sessions, and film screenings.
The Island is full of people creating together, or just being with each other. The simple act of togetherness has been scientifically proven to lead to better health, especially in times of high stress.
In the book “The Hidden Life of Trees: What They Feel, How They Communicate: Discoveries from a Secret World,” Peter Wohlleben researched the science behind forests and their social nature. His work showed that trees provide nutrients to one another, and are supportive of the whole ecosystem.
“A tree can be only as strong as the forest that surrounds it,” Wohlleben wrote.
This time of collective sadness is a call to connect with each other. The Island community has the potential, in so many ways, to be an example of a group of people who love each other, help their neighbors, bring lasagna over for dinner, and provide for children who lost a parent through the supportive network of friends.
No one makes it through life alone. Grief reminds us that we are stronger together. As Wohlleben pointed out, “If a tree falls in the forest, there are other trees listening.”
