Writing from the Heart: Interview with self and friends

One of the only sections of the New York Times Sunday paper I read is the book review. And one of the only parts I never miss is the piece right in the beginning, called “By the Book.”

The column is an interview with bestselling authors. The questions range from, What books are on your nightstand? to, What’s your ideal reading experience? Since I’m realistic enough to know I won’t be one of the interviewees, and since I have a rich imagination and an ego that sometimes overrides my spiritual work, I decided to interview myself. That way I could pretend anyone cares, and get the joy of answering those provocative and informative questions. Here is a sampling of some of the oft-used queries. And here are my fantasy answers.

What books are on your nightstand?
“Trust” by Hernan Diaz, “A Swim in the Pond in the Rain” by George Saunders, “Boy” (an advance copy) by Nicole Galland, “Raising the Salad Bar” by Catherine Walthers, “Walking Each Other Home” by Ram Dass and Mirabai Bush, “Ordinary Mysticism: Your Life as Sacred Ground” by Mirabai Starr, “This Is Happiness” by Niall Williams, “The Essential Rumi” by Coleman Barks (I keep that one there all the time), “Cruise Ship Doctor” by Gerry Yukevich, “Companies We Keep: Employee Ownership and the Business of Community and Place” by John Abrams. (I have a big nightstand.)

Also, I’ve been listening to books on Audible. I listened to “James” by Percival Everett. OMG! And now I’m listening to “Long Island Compromise” by Taffy Brodesser-Akner. Another OMG!

What book(s) had the greatest impact on you?
“Catcher in the Rye” by J.D. Salinger and “Be Here Now” by Ram Dass.

Which genres do you especially enjoy?
I started with fiction, and then for years I read only spiritual books. Now I’m back to fiction.

What was the last great book you read?
“Morning Pages” by Kate Feiffer.

Which genres do you avoid?
Horror.

What books are you embarrassed to admit you’ve never read?
The embarrassing part is how long the list is: “The Iliad,” “The Odyssey,” “Adventures of Huckleberry Finn,” “The Adventures of Tom Sawyer,” The Bible, “The Overstory” (I tried three times, and couldn’t get through it), “The Feminine Mystique,” “Middlemarch.” That’s all for now (I’ll run out of space if I continue).

You’re giving a literary dinner party. Who do you invite, dead or alive?
My husband built me a round table for 14, so this will be big. It might have to be potluck, because I’ll be too nervous to cook. I’ll make sure the conversation is one person talking and the rest are listening, because I don’t like when it breaks up into little twosomes.

Here’s my list: Ann Patchett, Louise Erdrich, Michelle Obama, Deepak Chopra, Nuala O’Faolain, Tim Winton, Ogden Nash, James Baldwin, Geraldine Brooks, Flannery O’Connor, Isabel Wilkerson, Abigail McGrath, Alan Watts, and yes, Joel Aronie. And oh yeah, me. Oops, now there’s no room. That’s OK. I don’t need to sit. I’ll serve.

If you are inspired, go ahead and do one of your own. It’s so much fun. And if you want a writing prompt, write the dialogue at the dinner. And if you belong to a writing group, get everyone to do it. Then have the potluck and read your conversation pieces. If you’re game, let me know how it went.

I’ll start:

Deepak: Everyone take a deep breath and exhale slowly.

Alan: Oh, come now, Deepak. This is not that kind of dinner.

Deepak: I’ll continue. Dharma is a Sanskrit word that means purpose in life. The law of dharma says that we have taken manifestation in physical form to fulfill a purpose. The field of pure potentiality is divinity in its essence.

Ogden: Oh god and god of our fathers, we ask thee as we chew our chow, is this whole night gonna be here now? I don’t mind a bit of spiritual banter, but at least let it be sung by an atheist cantor. A guy or a gal, see how PC I am? And you’ll notice I refused the portion of ham. I don’t discriminate, equivocate, or negotiate, as long as I get to choose my terms. I’m under the mother, being eaten by worms.

Joel: We’re all gonna be eaten by worms sooner than you think. I’m amazed my wife even included me at this prestigious dinner, because she knows I’d wear my “Ask me about thorium” T shirt, and all I’m gonna talk about is how we have to stop flying and buying and denying the climate emergency.

Nuala: Can we talk about something meaningful like “the Troubles”?

Michelle: Don’t talk to me about troubles. Have you read the paper lately?

Ann: Sure, read your news, but I want everyone to read everything. And you don’t have to come to my bookstore. How about Bunch of Grapes? Or the Edgartown Bookstore? Mathew will get you anything, but no ordering online, please. I just so happen to have a list of banned books I’ll give you all before the evening is over.

Flannery: Not a great segue, but I’m gonna be blunt here, Louise. I know Michael didn’t write “Yellow Raft in Blue Water.” I knew it from the first line I read.

Louise: Please, Flannery. We have enough challenges as Native people with invisibility. I’m not going to let you disappear Michael.

Isabel: I hear ya’ loud and clear, Louise.

Abigail: I’m too old for this. Stop this bickering. We have bigger fish to fry, kids. My arthritis is actin’ up, and all I want is to raise money for some scholarships for young writers for my retreat center in O.B. So if anyone can tell me how to fundraise, I’m all ears.

Tim: Yeah, I was gonna mention your ears. But that’s not all you are. You’re worth your weight.

Geraldine: If you get up here, Tim, I’ll introduce you two. You’ve got a bunch of fans on the Vineyard. Because of me.

Tim: Well, thanks, Geraldine. You’ve got a bunch of fans down here … but not because of me. Haha.

James: I’m trying not to get political, so just pass the potatoes, please.

That’s just a sampling. Now do yours.